Crossing the Bridge

Sometimes we come slowly to a new place of awareness; we sort of grow into a better understanding without a crisis provoking it. Sometimes we're not faced with a deliberate decision to re-do our way of thinking. But that will not always be true; at times there may be a crisis or we may face a decision.

Several years ago, as we contemplated our lives of faith, a friend and I began to pray, individually and for each other, "God, transform me into a new person by changing the way I think." (See Romans 12:1 in The New Living Translation.) What a trip this has been! I had no idea that there were huge portions of my mental processes that had never been liberated from accumulated warping. Where I am now is like being in another country: I do things differently here, I speak differently here, I view things differently here. And God isn't even finished yet!

I'll explain. I always thought I could "get by" on a certain amount of sleep, far less than doctors recommend, just because there was so much I was expected to do. I told myself it didn't matter whether or not the food I ate tasted good, just so long as there was enough of it for everyone. When I had to deal with major trauma, I said it didn't hurt too much--just what I learned to say as an eight-year-old when I stubbed my toe. I confused setting appropriate boundaries with being selfish. I thought helping others achieve their goals excluded my own, and I believed that for others to be happy and well-cared-for meant that I needed to be overburdened and poor.

Many times, I looked across the way to this "other country." From over there, it didn't appear to be all that different, but I just knew anyway that it was better. There was clarity of purpose here, and a sense of self worth, permission to dream, and freedom to take care of myself. I don't know exactly when I first crossed the bridge because it has not been a single experience, but rather something that's repeated over and over. But I suppose it must have been when I started praying about God changing the way I think. I soon began to face in rapid succession a series of situations that forced me to evaluate everything: my relationships, my work, my health, my faith.

What is the bridge? I propose that the bridge is truth--not necessarily ultimate truth like the Gospel of Jesus Christ, although there is that too--but the truth about myself, my past and present life, my future, my faults and failures as well as my giftings and successes. Reality can be a real wake-up call (or the more descriptive, "kick in the pants")! In the Scripture or other books and articles, on a regular basis, I find truth. In messages my pastor preaches or in conversation, I hear truth. When I am reflecting on daily events or experiences, I discover truth. "This is the way life is, and there is the way it can be. This is the way you are, and there is who you can become." And then I must choose: accept this "bridge" to better knowing and better being . . .

Or close my eyes and walk away.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com