All my life I've been troubled by the concept of doing my best, drilled into me by parents with a strong work ethic. Even under the most adverse circumstances and personal stress, I somehow felt that anything less than what I was ultimately capable of producing was inadequate. Never mind that it had required sheer willpower, not to mention almost superhuman effort. If the results were less than what my abilities might have produced, it was not good enough.
Let me clarify with an example. Had I had six weeks instead of three, and had I had access to the research library every day instead of once a week, I would have produced an A on my project. That is not an excuse; it is just acknowledging what I know I am capable of if I have no severe limitations. Is the "A" worth sacrificing competence at my breadwinning job? Or a reasonable amount of time spent with my small child? Or the spirit-sustaining hour of worship on the weekend? Or a few hours' sleep? No, something has to give. I am not able to excel at everything, certainly not in a less than ideal situation.
I do believe in "Always do your best," but that needs the provisional clause, "with where you are and what you have." I have not always known that, but have constantly berated myself for not being wiser, stronger, more disciplined, more discerning. I have only recently gained the insight that all I really need to examine is, "Did I do the best I could with where I was and what I had?" If yes, then whether a marriage, a writing project, or making a flower bed, I can say with confidence and an easy conscience, "I did my best!"
MaryMartha
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