There are many versions of these tests for words we speak, attributed to a variety of speakers: Ann Landers, for one, and Eleanor Roosevelt, the Rotary Club, a guru named Sai Baba, and a very old poem before any of those other possible sources existed. But this is the one I heard my mother often repeat, and she probably heard it from her mother.
First of all, is what I am about to say true? Mama was super-conscientious about telling the truth. (Maybe that’s why she never said very much!) The rationale for that is very clear. Her Bible—the King James Version, of course. Proverbs 12:22 says, “Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.” In Ephesians 4:25, she read, “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man [every person] truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another.” The ultimate rule was one of the Ten: “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.” (Exodus 20:16) We could take this to mean only giving false testimony in court, but Bible scholars do not see it that way. One of them writes, “[This] commandment concerns our own and our neighbour's good name. This forbids speaking falsely on any matter, lying, equivocating, and any way devising or designing to deceive our neighbour. Speaking unjustly against our neighbour, to hurt his reputation. Bearing false witness against him, or in common conversation slandering, backbiting, and tale-bearing; making what is done amiss worse than it is, and in any way endeavouring to raise our reputation upon the ruin of our neighbour's. (Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary) The test can be interpreted then by asking, “Am I intending to deceive?
Next, is what I am about to say kind? There are many things one could say which would be absolutely true, but are best voiced with the greatest care or even left unsaid. “That dress makes you look really fat!” “You’re not studying hard enough. You can do better than a B!” “You’d better get out and wash the car; it looks dreadful!” Mama didn’t speak words like these. Again she had the Scripture as her guide. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” (Proverbs 15:1) And she read in Colossians 4:6, “Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.” A word of explanation about “salt” in that last verse: Grace is the “salt” which seasons our conversation, and keeps it from being corrupt. Though our speaking will not always be about grace, yet it must always be with grace. Even the ordinary should be spoken of in a Christian manner.
Last, is what I am about to say necessary? I would qualify the word necessary a bit to say “helpful,” “beneficial,” or the Scriptural term, “edifying.” Mama knew the world could do with less banal chatter, and so she didn’t add much of it. It isn’t wise to say meaningless things just so there’s no dead air (a radio term meaning unexpected silence, sometimes caused because the broadcaster has run out of intelligent things to say). Now here’s an interesting Scripture! “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” (Proverbs 17:28) That may be where Mark Twain got this piece of advice, "It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Another verse in Proverbs says, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.” (25:11) The Apostle Paul wrote, “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29) If it serves no good purpose, it’s best to leave it unsaid.
These are very stringent tests, aren’t they? Maybe our speaking is not going to meet them all the time, but certainly, these little “guards” at the gate of our lips can help us be more aware of the words we let pass through. “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer.” (From Mama’s Bible, Psalm 19:14)
MaryMartha
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Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
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