Let It Go

I heard a catchy tune on the radio the other day, but the words were significant enough for me to grab a pen and jot down the gist of each of the verses. (Not the song Tim McGraw made famous.)

What somebody said? Let it go. You love but they don't love you back? Let it go. Those politicians—you hear what they say but you don't know what they mean? Let it go. A family feud? Let it go. You're tired and worried and there's nothing you can do about it? Let it go.

A very large part of the things we fret about and carry around as a constant burden are things we cannot change. If those last few words say it all—you're tired and worried and there's nothing you can do about the situation?—just let it go! There are enough things where we can make a difference to demand our attention; we don't need to take on situations over which we have no control!

God, grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change;

Courage to change the things I can;

And wisdom to know the difference.

--Reinhold Niebuhr, theologian, ca 1934.

MaryMartha

Art from http://www.sxc.hu/

No Strings Attached

In my current

stuff-releasing project,

I've given away several items that have considerable intrinsic value but to which I am no longer connected. I assured the intermediary that the stuff was given "with no strings attached," that is, no special demands or limits. I find that is such a relief! There is no need for me to follow up: who is the final recipient, where are they using it, are they using it as carefully as I once did, and so forth.

This being the Christmas giving/entertaining season, I pondered some more about the general concept of no strings attached. One person complained, "I entertained that couple twice in my home, and they have never offered an invitation in return. Don't they know they are supposed to reciprocate?" I wanted to respond, "Well, did you enjoy their company? Did they seem to enjoy yours? Is that not enough?"

There are many reasons why those acquaintances may not have opened their home in return. Things are not always what they seem; perhaps someone in the home is physically or emotionally frail. Perhaps there are serious financial limitations, and they cannot afford anything but essentials. There may be things in the home that need to be repaired or replaced, and they feel embarrassed by the situation. Perhaps they are just ill at ease with entertaining. These may not seem like sufficient reasons, but they are huge to some people.

I could have added, "Or maybe they were naïve enough to think that they were invited to your home because you wanted to have them there. They just didn't catch on that the reason you invited them to your home was so they would invite you to theirs!"

There are some people who want to give only if they are recognized "sufficiently" as givers. Giving to those who do not acknowledge the gift is a touchy subject: Grandchildren who do not say thanks for birthday checks, brides who do not send thank-you notes, waitpersons who are offensive about expecting a tip. Every giver has to decide for himself/herself how to handle these situations. But it would be well to stop and consider, "Why am I giving this? Are there strings attached to this gift? What am I hoping for in return?"

I should confess that I am not really the magnanimous giver that you might think. I am so glad to be getting rid of stuff! But it did make me happy to be able to give some things away, rather than sell them. Maybe I should be paying the recipients for giving my former possessions a good home!

MaryMartha

Art from http://sxc.hu/

Remembering

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
-- Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, a Canadian
physician, after witnessing the death of his soldier-friend the day before.

This is Veterans' Day in the U.S., and Remembrance Day in the countries of the United Kingdom. First observed as Armistice Day and still called that in many countries, it commemorated the symbolic end of World War I on November 11, 1918, with the signing of the armistice between the Allies and Germany. In Belgium, part of the Flanders Fields region, it is known as The Day of Peace. For us, it has become the day to honor all, both the living and the dead, who have served in our country's armed forces during any conflict.

As elementary school students, we read "In Flanders Field," and while war was a difficult and faraway concept for us to grasp, we had a great deal of respect for those who were keeping our country free and safe. Because we lived in a rural area, there were no veterans standing on street corners to give out artificial red poppies in return for a donation to benefit their disabled buddies. Instead, we took the crepe paper poppies home to our parents and brought the dollars and dimes back to school for "the soldier boys." Patriotism, during those times, was an honorable thing.

Though we are in difficult times, I am not so wearied and disillusioned that I can forget what it has cost other men and women to keep my little world free and safe. I am grateful.

Read the 2008 post, "I Will Remember" [here].

MaryMartha

Art from http://www.sxc.hu/

Not How It Used to Be

Nearly four hundred years after King Solomon completed the construction of the glorious Temple of God, it was destroyed by the Babylonians (586 BC). The invading army carried most of the citizens away, leaving only the poorest to care for the land. Eventually, some of the exiled were permitted to return, and with the support of the Persian ruler Cyrus and later Darius, the Temple was rebuilt (515 BC). The dimensions of the Second Temple were likely the same as that of the first, perhaps even on the repaired foundations of the first, but there was no way to reproduce the splendor. Both David and Solomon had opened their vast treasuries for the building and extravagant furnishing of God's house. Even with the aid of sympathetic foreigners, the present means of people in this desolate country were small compared to the immense resources of the former kings during prosperous circumstances.

"When the builders completed the foundation of the Lord’s Temple, the priests put on their robes and took their places to blow their trumpets. And the Levites, descendants of Asaph, clashed their cymbals to praise the Lord, just as King David had prescribed. With praise and thanks, they sang this song to the Lord: 'He is so good! His faithful love for Israel endures forever!' Then all the people gave a great shout, praising the Lord because the foundation of the Lord’s Temple had been laid. But many of the older priests, Levites, and other leaders who had seen the first Temple wept aloud when they saw the new Temple’s foundation. The others, however, were shouting for joy." (Ezra 3:10-12 NLT)

Those who knew the sadness of having no temple at all were overjoyed when they saw the foundation of the new one laid. To them, this was like food to a starving person. But for those who could remember the grandeur of the first temple, this new one would surely be far inferior. There was no likelihood at all of its being so richly decorated with precious materials. They wept aloud, their cries mingling with the cheers around them. Some translations say these were "ancient men," seventy or eight years old (uh oh!) They lamented, "This is not how it used to be."

I cannot help but think of this story when I hear some of my fellow church-goers speak slightingly of contemporary worship forms and church direction. Rather than bewail the loss of how things used to be, we must accept that many of those around us do not share the same memories. They, like the spiritually starved younger generation of Israelites, are overjoyed at the prospect and reality of worshipping in the presence of God together. We "ancient" folks are grown-ups now; we can feed ourselves, if need be. If you miss the old hymns, find a hymn book and sing yourself into grace! If you miss old-fashioned "cottage" prayer meetings, get some folks together! If you miss lively revival services, look around; they may not be in tents any more, but they still do exist in many places!

This is not how it used to be? Of course not. Nothing is. I'm with the Apostle Paul who declared, "So how am I to respond? I've decided that I really don't care about their motives, whether mixed, bad, or indifferent. Every time one of them opens his mouth, Christ is proclaimed, so I just cheer them on!" (Philippians 1:17 MSG)

MaryMartha

Scripture quotation marked NLT is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved. Scripture marked MSG is taken from The Message. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Things Mama Taught Me: Don't Force Your Opinion on Others

My siblings and I are not shy about having our own opinions; we have them on almost everything! Thankfully, we don't find it necessary to persuade everyone around us to follow our lead, a mostly useless endeavor anyway. Our mother said clearly and often, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still." This old proverb has been used in different forms by a number of modern authors, Dale Carnegie for one, but I doubt that she had ever read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." It's been around for a very long time, perhaps two or three hundred years. Mary Wollstonecraft, a famous British writer and feminist, used a variation of the quote in her 1792 treatise, "A Vindication of the Rights of Woman." Its placement in quotation marks there indicates that it was not original with her; she either did not know origin of the saying or assumed that it was so popularly known that citing the source was unnecessary. She may have been misquoting lines from Samuel Butler's 17th century poem, "Hudibras":

He that complies against his will
Is of his own opinion still
Which he may adhere to, yet disown,
For reasons to himself best known.

Whether that thought was Butler's own or borrowed from an even older saying, we'll probably never know, but regardless of the source, Mama was right. It's pretty hard to force someone to think as you do. They may seem to acquiesce, but like the little boy who was sent to sit in the corner, they are "still standing up on the inside."

It is proper and right to have an opinion on things, but I don't have to weigh in with my opinion on everything! I even have to examine regularly my need to write: "Will I do so even when I do not know who out there in the cyber world is reading?" (Yes.) It is indeed important to stand up for what is right—but one could spend all their waking hours trying to correct the multitude of errors and wrongs to be found around us. And speaking frankly, most of those attempts would be only verbal—a blast of hot, but empty, opinion about this person or that situation—with there being very little that we could actually do about it.

Still, even if some people are argumentative, having opinions is a good thing and being free to express them is . . . priceless! "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." I thank God for freedom of speech.

And for Mama who taught us some lessons about how to use it.

MaryMartha

You may want to read related entries in this blog:
Don't Confuse Me with the Facts
Of Peanut Butter, Critical Reviews, and Tuning In
In All Things Charity

Info on the quotes:
(1) http://www.cliffsnotes.com/WileyCDA/Section/id-305408,articleId-41563.html.
(2) Attributed to Voltaire, French philosopher and author, 1694-1778. The Columbia World of Quotations. 1996.

But If Not

These are troubled times, economically and socially, and some of the voices I hear around me express fear or anger. How anxious we become if any of the comforts and conveniences to which we've become addicted are threatened! Compared to much of the rest of the world, we live very privileged lives. Some of the things which we consider our "rights," are totally unknown in other places, but ease is not an essential part of the Gospel. We would like to think that it is, but the experience of Christians elsewhere does not attest to that. If the "American" gospel of peace and prosperity does not work in slums and refugee camps and political prisons, then it is not really the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

As Jesus' followers, we cannot be harmed! But, one could argue, ineffective leadership and questionable legislation and illogical court decisions harm believers too, just the same as people who don't love God. Yes, of course. That is the point: "just the same." Christians are not excluded from the difficulties that a broken world full of searching people causes. But surely God delivers His people, doesn't He? Yes, but not always from the calamity or out of the distress. Hear what the Apostle Paul has to say: "Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? . . . No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." (Romans 8:35, 37 NLT) We cannot ultimately be harmed!

"God wouldn't let it happen," we fondly hope: all-out war, religious persecution, a broken home, desperate poverty, wasting disease, violent death. "We have to live." No, the experience of Christians in many other parts of the world does not bear that out, and neither does the experience of Paul and thousands of people since his time. Death may be the last enemy of Jesus Christ, but it is not the worst. Jesus taught His followers not to fear those who could destroy the body, because "there's nothing they can do to your soul, your core being. Save your fear for God, who holds your entire life—body and soul—in his hands." (Matthew 10:28 MSG)

I love the attitude of the young Hebrew men in the Old Testament who were threatened with death if they did not worship the image set up by the king. I hope Christians in these uncertain days can develop the same stand. "Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver from your hand, O king. But if not, let it be known to you, O king, that we do not serve your gods, nor will we worship the gold image which you have set up.” (Daniel 3:17, 18 NKJV) It is almost incidental that God did spare them; the fire burned only the ropes that bound them. When they came out, there was not even the smell of smoke on them. God did not have to do that, because they were already free! The king had no power over them when they set their hearts on God and declared, "We won't bow down." The fire could not destroy their determination to trust and honor Him with their lives—or their deaths.

While we desperately look for a way to escape distress or to avoid it altogether, the Enemy of our souls has us at his mercy. He can bind us with fear, self-pity, bitterness, and doubt. "God can and will deliver" is an important stand of faith, and when we can say, "But if He doesn't . . ." nothing can ultimately harm us. We are already delivered.

MaryMartha

Perhaps of interest to you:
http://findingthefaithway.blogspot.com/2008/07/god-sees-sparrows-fall.html
http://findingthefaithway.blogspot.com/2009/05/does-god-always-provide-bread.html

Scripture quotation marked NLT is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved. Scripture marked MSG is taken from The Message. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture marked NKJV taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Fireworks

Today, the 4th of July, is "The Fourth of July," with capital letters,
marking Independence Day in the U.S.

Fireworks

With hiss and boom the colored sparks
Trace patterns in the sky.
Each must be bolder, louder,
And better than the rest.
We celebrate freedom
With such excess.
I wonder why?

And in my quiet garden,
A lightning bug flits by,
So simple, silent, free
And natural, I almost missed
The wee voice of his cry:
"This little light of mine,
I'm gonna let it shine."
        —MM

MaryMartha

In All Things, Charity

Centuries ago, a Lutheran theologian in Germany wrote the words which have since become, in one form or another, a key watchword in many Christian denominations and organizations. Church historians even have a special term for it: The Peace Saying. Peter Meiderlin (pen name: Rupertus Meldenius) lived in the early 1600's, a very troubled time with both political and religious strife. He wrote, "In essentials, Unity; in non-essentials, Liberty; in all things, Charity."

Who could quarrel with unity, liberty, and charity? We probably are all in favor. But what if, at the very outset, we cannot agree on what is essential and what is non-essential? What I consider an integral part of my Christian faith may be a non-issue for you, and both of us may quote Scripture to support our position!

Jesus Himself narrowed everything down to two fundamentals. “ ‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:37-40) When faced with Jesus' defining statements, we may ask the startled question, "But what about . . ." and bring any number of issues to be debated.

What is important to our understanding is that a great many things lie along a continuum. There are not just two alternatives with a great divide between, but many points along a "scale" from one extreme to the other. Take, for example, the matter of disciplining one's children. Some parents believe they should never inflict any kind of physical hurt, while others are sincere in administering Proverbs 23:13, 14—"Don’t fail to discipline your children. They won’t die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death." And a lot of people are somewhere in the middle, including those who think a single, swift pop on the seat of the pants works well. Some groups are very specific about what their adherents should wear, while others think it matters little. Some groups permit no musical instruments in the house of worship, others use a piano but would not allow drums, and some go for the whole rockin' band! Some people consider betting on the horses unacceptable, but they would buy a lottery ticket; those who object to the lottery might still buy a ticket for the church raffle. Still others refuse any kind of gamble.

Each person must decide, with the clearest available information and their best personal judgment and the help of God's Spirit, where is the right place on the continuum for himself/herself. And that makes Christians appear inconsistent! Because we all must find the place where we draw the line, each of us may be in a different place than those around us. Some of my animal-loving friends marched outside our civic center to protest the beauty pageant contestants being awarded furs. But while they marched, they wore leather shoes! So yes, we are inconsistent. We have different points on the continuum where we have chosen our positions.

Remember this: According to Jesus, these issues are not the greatest to be considered. We try very hard sometimes to make everyone fit into one tidy "box" of outward behavior. Early church fathers discovered this did not work very well, and began to rely on "The Peace Saying." They chose to be united in their belief that salvation comes through personal faith in Jesus Christ. They chose to allow diversity of beliefs and opinions and regulations and practices among believers. They chose to let love rule above all.

Let us do the same!

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Scripture quotations are taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Losing Our Way

This incident happened a long time ago, but I think of it fairly often because it still holds instruction for me!

Nickie, my terrier of indeterminate heritage, ran away. Someone left the gate ajar, and she squeezed through the narrow opening into that most desirable of all states--freedom in the world of exciting sounds and smells beyond the backyard fence!

I was busy with chores that took me in and out of the house, the garage, and the yard. Nickie was happily exploring nearby with much digging and snuffling. I had been working for some time, when I became vaguely aware that I had not seen or heard her for quite awhile. I began to look for her, calling her name. She wasn’t in the yard any longer, and she was not in the garage or the house. Where could she be?

I happened then to look across the fence which separates my enclosed backyard from the neighbor’s open one. There was the wayward Nickie, looking back at me! My heart sank. Sorry experience had taught me that Nickie would make a game of being brought back to the confines of our yard. As soon as I began to call and plead, she would run halfway down the block. Just I approached with the leash, ever so slowly and gently, off she would go again to wait for me somewhere in the next block. No amount of pleading prevailed. Only when she grew tired of watching me make such futile attempts or when she was ready to indulge in the proffered treat, would she concede with a dignity that pointed up my own foolishness.

When I saw her across the fence that day, I hurriedly gathered my dog-catching equipment--the leash and plenty of dog biscuits--and enlisted the help of my teenager. I tried to prepare myself mentally for the exasperating chase of this adventure-seeking, disobedient, dumb--and entirely lovable—pet. “Help me,” I prayed. “Please don’t let her get lost. Don’t let her get hit by a car.”

We stepped out onto the porch. “Here, Nickie,” I called tentatively, knowing these words would induce her rapid flight down the street. “Come here, girl.”

I was surprised to see her moving into the unfenced area which joins the front of my property with the neighbor's. I was absolutely stunned when Nickie came running and lay down submissively at my feet. When I picked her up to carry her into the house, I felt the pounding of her little heart. She began to tremble violently. I hugged her tightly. This little dog that was so eager to run away and who always made a game of being “lost” was scared!

It's fun to run down the block when you can see the people who love you coming right along behind. It's neat to smell new things when you know the way back home. But when Nickie slipped out of the back gate and ran down the alley, she was all alone and she couldn’t see Home. When she came through the other yards on our block, she could see Home again. There was the back yard she knew; there was the door she always ran through to get inside the house. But she didn’t know how to get to it. A chain-link fence separated her from being where she now realized she wanted to be.

For several minutes, I held Nickie close until her shivering stopped. I wanted her to feel the warmth and safety of Home again. And while I did this, I thought of the security of parents’ care. “Without making a huge thing of this," I told my daughter, “Nickie’s running away is a lot like teenager’s wanting to leave home. They can hardly wait to get away from their parents and all their rules, so that they can be on their own. But when they get out there in the world, they find it’s kind of scary! They get confused, and they’re not sure they know the way back.”

And of course, teenagers are not that different from everyone else. Who of us hasn’t thought, “If I just didn’t have all these difficulties and restrictions in my life . . . Why is everything so hard for me? I wish I could just be free! ” But the freedom we may sometimes think we want is a scary thing. If we do occasionally slip away through a crack in the “fence” that holds us, we suddenly find ourselves out there all alone. We can see the back yard, so to speak, and we can see the door where we used to go in and out. But we can’t reach it. We’ve lost our way.

Then we hear the Master call our name. If we have any wisdom at all, we will run to Him and throw ourselves at His feet in humility. Hearts pounding with the fright we’ve had, we relax in His strong, warm arms and know that we are safe again and still greatly loved!

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Things Mama Taught Me: "Shame on You"

A great many of the things my mother taught me by precept and example are great lessons for living life well. But she missed it on a few lessons and this is one of them.

I am absolutely convinced that mistakes made in my upbringing were simply that—mistakes, not lack of love. I was raised by my mother and father, with input by teachers and church men and women and various aunts and uncles, in much the same way they were raised by their parents, teachers, and so on. We lived in a culture and in a time period where children and adults alike were controlled to a large extent by being made to feel ashamed. Most of all, we learned that we were shameful creatures before God.

The causes of shame were many, ranging from really bad things that one could not even discuss to just not being "nice," however that was defined in the family. Sometimes the shame came, not from the outside at all but from within, about things for which I was not even responsible—someone else's behavior or circumstances I could not help. I could not please people; some (not my mother) gestured "Shame on you," by pointing at me and rubbing their pointing finger with the index finger of the opposite hand two or three times. (I wonder if this implies, "I am rubbing all this nastiness onto you; none of it belongs to me"?) I could not even please myself, I was so intent on "perfection." How, then, could I expect to please God? Shame on me.

I feel quite sure there are many individuals who, just like me, were shaped by years of quiet shame. We each have a right to our past and can own it without apology. We must refuse to sink into "meta-shame," that is, being ashamed of our shame! But I say to all of us what someone said to me when I was well into my adult years. I admitted my feelings of shame, and I will never forget the words that friend spoke before praying with me. "There is no shame at the Cross."

No shame at the Cross? That's because Jesus was bearing it all. Think about it:

Hauled before religious and civil authorities for six (illegal) trials
Mocked as soldiers pretended He was their king
Unable, in His weakened condition, to carry the cross
Hung for everyone to look at, probably naked
Ridiculed because He refused to do anything to save Himself
Executed like a criminal, with criminals
And finally, feeling abandoned by God.

A verse of Phillip Bliss's hymn, "Man of Sorrows," reads,

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!

"Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame." (Hebrews 12:2) To our own sorrow, we too often endure the shame, disregarding the cross.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Scripture quotation taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Corrupted Files

For the last six weeks or so, I have had trouble accessing the files created on my computer with a word-processing program. A friend came and applied his considerable expertise to the problem, but as soon as I reported back to him that it was working great and sent a small check for his trouble, things came apart again! A technician I called suggested deleting and then reloading the program, and then if that didn't work, buying the new (read: expensive!) version of that program.

"What causes this?" I asked. "Your program is probably corrupted," he explained. "That just happens." Given the incredibly complex systems that constitute the technology that we use with such ease, that isn't surprising. "Corruption" does not necessarily mean something really, really bad like a destructive virus; it can be nothing more than some little piece of code that got misplaced or failed somehow to do its job, resulting in frustration and anxiety for the computer user (me!)

Our belief system is like that. Many of us carry around a lot of "corrupted files." By that I do not mean wicked thoughts and degenerate behavior, but ideas and attitudes that have led us in unhappy, unproductive ways. What we believe about ourselves, how we view the world around us, the understanding we have of God are all subject to "corruption" by faulty input. If our self-esteem was damaged while we were in the process of forming it early in life, we probably will carry some of that with us unless (and until) we reject that negativity. If we were taught distrust, to suspect that everyone and everything was out to get us, and to look doubtfully on anything that was not specifically Christian, we most likely will live guardedly and with some degree of fear. If we were brought up with the concept of an angry, vengeful, policeman-with-a-billy-club God, we may find it difficult to fathom the immense love of God for us and His fierce desire to draw us into relationship with Himself. We have "corrupted files."

As it turns out, I have been able to retrieve my written work. The process of "renewal" involved deleting some interfering, but unnecessary, programs that were failing to run properly and consequently shutting down access to other vital actions. I'm renewing my mind these days too, letting God transform me into a new person by changing the way I think—getting rid of those old, corrupted files!

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Crossing the Bridge

Sometimes we come slowly to a new place of awareness; we sort of grow into a better understanding without a crisis provoking it. Sometimes we're not faced with a deliberate decision to re-do our way of thinking. But that will not always be true; at times there may be a crisis or we may face a decision.

Several years ago, as we contemplated our lives of faith, a friend and I began to pray, individually and for each other, "God, transform me into a new person by changing the way I think." (See Romans 12:1 in The New Living Translation.) What a trip this has been! I had no idea that there were huge portions of my mental processes that had never been liberated from accumulated warping. Where I am now is like being in another country: I do things differently here, I speak differently here, I view things differently here. And God isn't even finished yet!

I'll explain. I always thought I could "get by" on a certain amount of sleep, far less than doctors recommend, just because there was so much I was expected to do. I told myself it didn't matter whether or not the food I ate tasted good, just so long as there was enough of it for everyone. When I had to deal with major trauma, I said it didn't hurt too much--just what I learned to say as an eight-year-old when I stubbed my toe. I confused setting appropriate boundaries with being selfish. I thought helping others achieve their goals excluded my own, and I believed that for others to be happy and well-cared-for meant that I needed to be overburdened and poor.

Many times, I looked across the way to this "other country." From over there, it didn't appear to be all that different, but I just knew anyway that it was better. There was clarity of purpose here, and a sense of self worth, permission to dream, and freedom to take care of myself. I don't know exactly when I first crossed the bridge because it has not been a single experience, but rather something that's repeated over and over. But I suppose it must have been when I started praying about God changing the way I think. I soon began to face in rapid succession a series of situations that forced me to evaluate everything: my relationships, my work, my health, my faith.

What is the bridge? I propose that the bridge is truth--not necessarily ultimate truth like the Gospel of Jesus Christ, although there is that too--but the truth about myself, my past and present life, my future, my faults and failures as well as my giftings and successes. Reality can be a real wake-up call (or the more descriptive, "kick in the pants")! In the Scripture or other books and articles, on a regular basis, I find truth. In messages my pastor preaches or in conversation, I hear truth. When I am reflecting on daily events or experiences, I discover truth. "This is the way life is, and there is the way it can be. This is the way you are, and there is who you can become." And then I must choose: accept this "bridge" to better knowing and better being . . .

Or close my eyes and walk away.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Goodbye to a Person You Once Knew

Years ago I was deeply affected by Eda LeShan’s account of losing a large amount of weight. (Winning the Losing Battle, 1979) As is true with many people, she found the root of this problem in attitudes and ideas she had brought with her from childhood. She finally told the self she had been for almost all her life ("Fat Eda"), “You suffered so much pain and you tried so hard; it has been such a struggle—as far back as memory—the hunger, the desperate efforts at control, the torment of self-consciousness and self-loathing . . . the shame and frustration and disappointment. Thank you, dear friend, for caring so much and finally letting me go. I'll never, ever forget you." And although she was justifiably proud of her achievement, she very literally mourned the loss of someone she once knew.

The Apostle Paul urges us, “Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.” (Romans 12:2) Sometimes changing the way you think means leaving behind someone you have known for a long time—an earlier self. The words of a song come to mind: “I’ve grown accustomed to [your] face.” That person may not have been “bad” at all; there was nothing really wrong with LeShan’s inner self except that she was still just that heartsick little nine-year old girl. Finding that you no longer want to be the person you are accustomed to being can be disheartening until you begin truly to love the new person that is developing.

Erik Kolbell, a psychotherapist and former minister at New York's Riverside Church, has written a fine book, The God of Second Chances. In it, he mentions his admiration for women who have found their way out of abusive relationships. They underwent a major change in their thinking, refusing to tolerate any longer the degradation being heaped on them. They came to understand that they did not have to remain burdened by the pieces of their past or their personality that unwittingly capitulated to abuse. Although their new optimism and self-esteem is cherished, they are not likely to ignore the fact that it was won by a certain kind of “dying,” giving up something of themselves. However unhealthy that earlier self was, it can be painful to say goodbye forever.

The alcoholic, the approval addict, the “control freak,” the compulsive eater or liar or shopper face the same loss—part of the person they once knew has to be left behind. Be gentle with the individual who is constructing a new life pattern. (Even if, or maybe especially if, that person is you!) It is not as easy as just making a New Years’ resolution. Often it is not even part of the decision to receive Jesus Christ as Savior. It may be a part of one’s spiritual growth or it may be a practical, personal determination. In any event, respect the enormous sacrifice of self that he/she (or you) have made to be transformed into a new person.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Scripture quotation taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Fear of Being Well

Not all of Jesus' miracles were received with gladness. An account in three of the four Gospels—Matthew, Mark, and Luke—relates an incident where a wonderful healing took place, and the response was great fear.

Jesus and his disciples came by boat across the Sea of Galilee to the country of the Gerasenes. There they were met by a madman, a victim of demons who so tormented him that he lived naked and homeless in the cemetery among the tombs. He was so wild that no one could restrain him; he had been tied up many times, but he broke the ropes and snapped the chains. Night and day he wandered among the burial caves and in the hills, howling and slashing himself with sharp stones.

When the man saw Jesus, still a long way off, he ran and bowed before Him as if to worship. But then he screamed and the evil spirits within bellowed, "Why are you interfering with me, Son of the Most High God? In the name of God, don't torture me!"

"Tell me your name," Jesus commanded the spirit presence, and it answered, "Mob. I am a rioting mob," but then as Jesus began to order them to come out, they pleaded not to be totally banished. A large herd of pigs—2000 of them—were rooting and feeding on a nearby hill. "Send us into the swine," they begged desperately. Jesus gave His permission, and the whole herd of crazed pigs plunged wildly down the steep hillside and into the lake where they all drowned.

Those who were tending the pigs were scared to death. They fled to the nearby town, spreading the news as they went. A crowd gathered around Jesus and saw there with Him the man who had been delivered from the demon mob. He was wearing decent clothes and making sense when he spoke. It was a miracle! And the crowd's response? They were all afraid and demanded that Jesus go away and leave them alone.

Why were people afraid in the face of a miraculous healing? True, they had lost their pigs. "If Jesus stays here, performing more of these miracles, it's hard telling how many of us will lose our livelihood. Let's run Him off!"

The social structure is upset. "This is too much change, way too fast. We don't understand it at all. It's just scary."

And if there's no wild man in the community to whom can we feel superior? "You think I'm crazy? No, that guy out in the cemetery is crazy."

Having finished just this one mission on the far side of the lake, Jesus started to get back into the boat. The delivered man begged to go along, but Jesus told him, "No, go home to your own people. Tell them your story, how the Master had mercy on you." He did just that, witnessing throughout the whole area of the amazing thing Jesus had done for him. By proclaiming his testimony, the delivered man avoided the tragedy of a return to the caves.

Once a person has grown accustomed to the darkness of his/her emotional self-destruction, ruinous habits, or antisocial behavior, the light may seem too much to bear. It is not at all unusual for those who are celebrating wellness to creep back into the familiarity of the "cave" where they have lived for a long time. Being free and responsible and happy is just too great a change. It's scary! He/she was not happier or healthier in the cave, but it is dear and familiar, and sometimes there is the temptation to find "safety" in that well-known place.

Jesus said, "If the Son sets you free, you are truly free." (John 8:36) But one has to accept that freedom and not fear being well.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Scripture quotation taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Whole in One #2: Acknowledge Singleness As Good

Say what??? Yes, when I first heard, “Accept Singleness as Good,” I too said to myself, No way!

You may be lonely, bored, frustrated or restless—forgetting that you have remarkable freedom in many areas. Freedom from many constraints on time, freedom to choose a simple lifestyle, freedom to focus on the things that are important to you, freedom to develop friendships and interests, freedom to serve God without distraction. Would it help you to know that some of your married friends envy your freedom!

Single women can have pink sheets on the bed if they want to! Fellows can leave the seat up all the time! Either can have chocolate cake for breakfast and adjust the thermostat to the perfect level and roll the bathroom tissue the “right” way. (I am only partly joking.) But seriously, we need to look at what the Scripture has to say.

Several times in I Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul assures us that single living is, in fact, good. Verse 1 says, “It is good for a man not to marry.” (NIV) We read in verse 8, “Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.” (NIV) And verse 26 urges, “Because of the current pressures on us from all sides, I think it would probably be best to stay just as you are.” (MSG) He further adds in verse 35, “I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” (NLT) Your singleness, and mine, is an advantage allowing you personally to choose the focus of your energies. It can be used in wonderful ways for your own benefit and it can be profitable for the Kingdom as well. Most of all, your love and loyalty can bring joy to the heart of the Lord.

“God sees your singleness as a positive, not a negative. You are not second class, nor are you something less than [is] a married Christian. Christ was single. Paul may have been married at one time, but it certainly sounds like he was single when he wrote this letter. Being single allows you to focus your life completely on God. Accept singleness as being something good.”

More thoughts next time.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Thanks to Dr. David Jeremiah (Turning Point) for permission to use the outline of his radio sermon on I Corinthians 7 and quotes from his book Core Vales of the Church: Paul’s First Letter to the Corinthians, Volume 2. Many years ago during an extended period of singleness, these were a great help to me.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture marked MSG taken from The Message. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotation marked NLT is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Building by the Pattern

Almost daily I drive by the location where a large arena is being constructed in my hometown. Posted around the work site are architect’s renderings of how the new building will look when it is finally finished. The unique shape of the roof has begun to appear the last couple of days, so that I can see now what will become part of our city’s skyline. I drove by today and thought, “Why, it looks just like the picture!”

And my next thought was, “Well, DUH!”

A team of skilled designers created in their minds a plan for the arena and then demonstrated it to the decision-makers. Others with the ability to read blueprints and to coordinate the construction workers were assigned their jobs. Day by day the work crew follows precisely the orders of their foremen who get their orders from the instructions that were given to them. They are building according to the pattern.

All of us are building—lives, families, careers. I am not one who believes that God has everything all planned and we are destined to follow that plan, robot-like. Nor do I think that He has so scripted our lives that we must live very cautiously lest we somehow miss the plan. Unlike the builders who follow a detailed blueprint, we have been given the privilege of being part of the design team! The Bible is our source of Divine principles for living, but we won’t find there what plumbing company to call. The Holy Spirit is here to guide us, but He isn’t likely to instruct us on whether to order fish or chicken. The pattern we follow is the life of Jesus Christ, not slavishly asking, “Oh dear, what would Jesus do?” but freely seeking to follow His way of love and service.

(You may want to read an earlier post somewhat along the same line, “No Formulas.” Click here.)

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Prayers for Our Nation

Many prayers have been written for our nation, among them petitions by Billy Graham, Chuck Swindoll, and Ravi Zacharias as well as ordinary citizens of our land. I think none are more expressive than those in some of our early patriotic hymns. They seem as fitting for Election Day, 2008, as they did over a century ago.

Some lines from “America the Beautiful” by Katharine Lee Bates, the first draft of which was hastily jotted in a notebook upon seeing “the wonder of America . . . [a] sea-like expanse” from the top of Pikes Peak. The words first appeared in a weekly journal for Independence Day, 1895.

America! America!

God shed His grace on thee,

And crown thy good with brotherhood

From sea to shining sea!

America! America!

God mend thine ev'ry flaw,

Confirm thy soul in self-control,

Thy liberty in law.

America! America!

May God thy gold refine

Till all success be nobleness,

And ev'ry gain divine.

A verse of “America” by Samuel Francis Smith, written while a student at the theological seminary in Andover, Massachusetts. He completed the lyrics in thirty minutes, setting them to the melody in Muzio Clementi's Symphony No. 3. The song was first performed in public on July 4, 1831, at a children's Independence Day celebration at Park Street Church in Boston.

Our father's God to Thee,
Author of liberty,
To Thee we sing.
Long may our land be bright
With freedom's holy light;
Protect us by Thy might,
Great God, our King!

The words of “God of Our Fathers” by Daniel C. Roberts, written in 1876 for a cel­e­bra­tion of the Cen­ten­n­i­al Fourth of July at Bran­don, Ver­mont. George W. Warren composed the tune we presently use for the cen­ten­ni­al cel­e­bra­tion of the Unit­ed States Con­sti­tu­tion in 1888.

God of our fathers, whose almighty hand

Leads forth in beauty all the starry band

Of shining worlds in splendor through the skies,

Our grateful songs before Thy throne arise.

Thy love divine hath led us in the past,

In this free land by Thee our lot is cast;

Be Thou our Ruler, Guardian, Guide and Stay,

Thy Word our law, Thy paths our chosen way.

Refresh Thy people on their toilsome way,

Lead us from night to never ending day;

Fill all our lives with love and grace divine,

And glory, laud, and praise be ever Thine

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

What Three Young Men Learned about Freedom

Daniel and three other young men, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, were among the Hebrew people who were deported from their homeland around 605 B.C. We remember Daniel by his given name, but we know the others best by their Babylonian names: Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego. A number of young Jewish men, including even nobles and royal descendants, were selected for a special program of preparation to serve in King Nebuchadnezzar’s palace. All were healthy, good-looking, and intelligent. Daniel and his companions, probably all mere teenagers, decided from the beginning that they would remain faithful to their God even though they were captives. Eventually, they were above all the others in their physical fitness, their knowledge of the culture, and their wisdom and understanding. After Daniel was enabled by the Lord to interpret a dream for the king, the four young were appointed to high positions in the realm.

King Nebuchadnezzar was a man of monstrous ego. He had a golden image erected, ninety feet tall, and ordered “everybody who was anybody” to come to its dedication. When all were gathered, a herald announced, “As soon as you hear the musical instruments playing, you must bow down and worship the image that the King has set up. Anyone who does not kneel and worship will be thrown into a blazing fiery furnace."

The band began to play and all the people bowed down—almost all the people. Daniel’s three young friends did not. (Apparently Daniel was elsewhere in the province when this occurred.) Some Babylonian fortunetellers stepped up—perhaps those who had not been able to understand the King’s dream—and reported to the King that three young Jews, the very men he had placed in high positions,were ignoring his command. The King flew into a rage and ordered them to be brought to him. “If you do not obey,” he warned them, “you will be immediately thrown into the roaring furnace. Then who is the god who can rescue you?”

The group answered, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” (Daniel 3:16-18 *) This made the king so angry that he had the furnace heated seven times hotter than usual. He ordered some of his stoutest soldiers to tie up the young men, turbans and all, and throw them into the furnace. The soldiers themselves died from the intense heat, and the three young men, securely tied, fell down into the flames.

Not the end of the story! To his amazement, the King saw not three but four men, loose and walking about in the fire. “And the form of the fourth,” he said “is like the Son of God!” When the young men were pulled out of the furnace, their hair was not singed, their clothes were not scorched, and there was not even the smell of smoke upon them. They were completely free, and were given positions of even greater importance!

But the freedom of these three young men did not actually start when they were released. It began earlier when they declared, “Our God is able . . . He will . . . And even if He doesn’t . . .” It takes some faith to say that God is able to rescue us from a desperate situation. It takes greater faith to declare that we believe He will. It takes abandonment to faith to say, “But even if He doesn’t, I will go on trusting and obeying Him.”

Peace and freedom come when we begin to trust God with our lives. Our freedom and confidence increase as we develop a “history” with Him, and we have experienced His reliability. Our freedom is unassailable when we are able to declare, “If He doesn’t answer the way I would like or even if it seems He doesn’t answer at all, He knows best, and I refuse to stop trusting Him!” I am reminded of our childish retort when someone tried to lord it over us, “You’re not the boss of me!” Although we might not say exactly that, our determination must equally clear-cut. “You’re not big enough to make me stop loving and serving God!” That is a powerful freedom!

What if God had not intervened on behalf of the three young men? What if we ourselves face threats and persecution and even death? Well, the Apostle Paul says we’re better off out of our bodies and in God’s presence. That defines for us the ultimate freedom.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved

*Read the whole story in the Book of Daniel, chapters 1-3. It will be worth your time!

Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Guilt-Edged Bibles

(No, that’s not a typo!)

There is no shortage of Bibles. What a blessing! We can choose from a score of translations in a number of different languages, and from various bindings in an assortment of colors. We can read the printed page or listen to an audio recording or read an online version.

I searched yesterday for Bibles with gilt edges. One website had 48 different items, another had 86. There were all kinds of Bibles: one a facsimile edition of the Cambridge Geneva Bible of 1591 (the edition carried by the Pilgrims when they came to America) selling for almost $2200. Bound in brown calfskin!! In a presentation box!! With gilt edges!! I also found for sale a Deluxe Gift and Award Bible!! Leather!! Used, showing average wear—but a well-worn Bible is good. For one cent!! And it has gilt edges!!

I was particularly interested in gilt-edged Bibles because of our tendency to make them guilt-edged. Jesus came to proclaim good news. “He came to Nazareth where he had been reared. As he always did on the Sabbath, he went to the meeting place. When he stood up to read, he was handed the scroll of the prophet Isaiah. Unrolling the scroll, he found the place where it was written, ‘God's Spirit is on me; he's chosen me to preach the Message of good news to the poor, sent me to announce pardon to prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to set the burdened and battered free, to announce, “This is God's year to act!” ’ He rolled up the scroll, handed it back to the assistant, and sat down. Every eye in the place was on him, intent. Then he started in, ‘You've just heard Scripture make history. It came true just now in this place.’ " (Luke 4:16-21 MSG)

Hope, pardon, light, freedom. Good news! Great news! But all too often we see some bearers of the Gospel treat it as merchandise rather than the “good tidings of great joy to all people” that the angel host announced. The Gospel becomes anything but good news whenever it shackles people with guilt, misleads them with partial truths, or ties them to those who wish to control them. The very fact that we live in a free country where all these Bibles abound, means that anyone at all can claim to be an able presenter of the Word.

Jesus did not speak soft words about such teachers. “Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, ‘The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees are the official interpreters of the law of Moses. So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. Everything they do is for show. . . They love to sit at the head table at banquets and in the seats of honor in the synagogues. . . They love to receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces . . . The greatest among you must be a servant . . . What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people’s faces. You won’t go in yourselves, and you don’t let others enter either.” (Matthew 23:1-13 NLT) These words of Jesus give us a good standard by which to measure those who would teach/preach from a “guilt-edged” Bible. Be cautious around them, and instead give your love and respect to those who have shared with you the genuine Good News!

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Scripture marked MSG is taken from The Message. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotation marked NLT is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com

Things Mama Taught Me: Life Isn't Always Fair

If she heard it once, my mother must have heard it a thousand times: “It’s not fair!” The older children stopped at the country store for candy on the way home from school, but the “baby” who was still at home didn’t get any. “It’s not fair!” The boys got new shoes in September because, having gone barefooted all summer, they had outgrown the old ones. “It’s not fair!” The younger children, attending a city school as they grew up, took music lessons and played on sports teams. “It’s not fair!”

Life is just full of inequities, isn’t it? And perhaps you heard, as I often did, “No one promised you that life would be fair.” Small comfort, right? It took me many years to realize that my mother was quite correct, only at a far greater level than the administration of our family affairs. The high ideals of our founding fathers simply do not work everywhere. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” (Thomas Jefferson, “The Declaration of Independence”) Because we are, for the most part, a free people, educated and well-fed, it is easy for us to believe these are indeed inalienable; we think, “God gave me the right to have them, and I am going to have them.”

There is a problem with Jefferson’s philosophy, as I see it. It isn’t entirely Scriptural. When Jesus talked about life, He did not talk about having the “right” to living your life. He used terms like “laying down your life,” “taking up your cross,” and even “don’t fear those who can kill the body.” When He talked about liberty, He said, “If the Son makes you free, you’ll be free indeed.” And the Apostle Paul added, “Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.” (Romans 6:16 NLT) According to that, we have less freedom (or more, depending on where our allegiance is) than we might think.

And the pursuit of happiness is mostly a misnamed quest. It is elusive when it is the object of a chase. Genuine happiness doesn’t usually come in great big packages marked wealth or top-of-the-ladder success or passionate romance or elite education. “Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) is the man who trusts in You [leaning and believing on You, committing all and confidently looking to You, and that without fear or misgiving]! (Psalm 84:12 AMP) Happiness very often comes in simple ways: coaxing the baby’s first smile, lying down at night on fresh-washed sheets, having coffee with a good friend, or making something grow. Charles Schultz was right—“Happiness is a warm puppy.”

In our society, this simple, un-Jeffersonian view of life may not seem “fair.” And maybe it isn’t. But the Christian faith declares unequivocally and without apology, “God is fair.” After all was said and done, that’s what Job decided too, “God is fair.” I don’t understand starving children and terrorist bombings and refugee camps and weather-related devastation. But of this I am sure: God is fair. “Fair” doesn’t always mean everything everywhere is “the same.” But He is trustworthy. I have proved Him during financial crisis, in emotional trauma, in physical weakness. He is fair. Ultimately fair.

MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)

Scripture marked NLT is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved. Scripture marked AMP is from the Amplified Bible

Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com