Seasons of Life

The seasons of life, as full as they are of newness and excitement, bring their own losses. We celebrate graduations and weddings and the births of babies and new jobs and retirements. We love to party hearty! What we sometimes fail to acknowledge—and then it takes us by surprise—is the little bit of ache that often accompanies rejoicing. We are happy certainly, but we also sense the loss of something dear and familiar.

"I wanted to be finished with school—but now what do I do?"

"I truly do want to marry this person, but I'm afraid to give up my freedom."

"We wanted this baby so much, but I liked there being just the two (or the three or more) of us, and I'm really, really tired of getting up at two a.m."

"I like the money I'm making, but the stress is killing me."

"I've looked forward to retirement all these years, and now I feel so useless."

How strange it is that success is mixed with a secret sorrow! In the last three days, two different friends, very dear to me, have announced that they are moving away from this area. Maybe we'll stay in touch, maybe not; life has a way of going on and distance has a way of changing how friendships survive and thrive. So I am glad for the challenges and opportunities and blessings that lie ahead for them, but still . . .

I wonder if there may be a reader who is feeling some of that "secret sorrow" of change. You can just tell yourself, "It is all right to feel a bit confused. I'm okay even if I'm happy and sort of sad at the same time. There's nothing wrong with me; this is part of change and I will get it sorted out."

Some of our griefs may seem foolish, at least to others. A man begins to bald a bit on top, a double chin appears, and suddenly he is threatened. Or a woman passes beyond the childbearing years, or she loses a breast to cancer, and she feels diminished. A person breaks their addiction to alcohol or goes on a medication that helps the brain function properly or becomes an average-sized individual by losing half her body weight—and suddenly, they no longer know who they are! "What a great problem to have!" someone might say. But no, not if you are one experiencing this sort of identity crisis. Be gentle with the person you used to be, kind to the person you are now!

It is not wrong for us to recognize and grieve our losses, whether that makes sense to others or not. If we are acknowledging now, perhaps for the first time in a long while, that there are some sore places in our hearts, then we have started on the path to healing and wholeness.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." (Psalm 34:18)

MaryMartha

Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.

Art from http://www.sxc.hu/