For more than twenty-five years, I have had a particular interest in the intersection of two subjects: women and the Church. This includes women in the Church, that is women of faith, although not necessarily part of organized religion, and women out of the Church—women who for one reason or another stay away from the Church or even leave it. Women before the Church who lived in Old Testament times, and women after the Church was formed. Women for the Church whose lives are partly defined by this relationship, and women against the Church (some are, you know.) And finally, women about the Church, that is, what women are saying about their/our place in the Body of Christ.
Busy with family responsibilities, finishing my college education, and getting established in my career(s), I did only a little research—a few papers for the classes I was taking. Now that child-rearing years are past and my formal education is complete and my professions are mostly finished, there is more time to study and think and write and I am returning to this interest in a more focused way. Some of my thoughts I will share here, but most of these specialized topics I will now cover in a second blog. If you have interests or concerns related to women's issues, I invite you to join me by reading the posts on "Claiming Our Selves," and by leaving your comments. You will locate the new blog at http://claiming-our-selves.blogspot.com
One of the things I've discovered in my life-journey is how many women fail to care for themselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually. "Claiming Our Selves" is for them--and for you, if you find yourself not knowing quite who you are. This can happen to us anywhere along the way, but especially during a time of transition: adolescence, career crisis, marriage or singleness, motherhood or not, menopause, empty nesting, retirement, husband's retirement, and divorce or death of husband bringing single-again-ness. I hope you will share in the honest attempt to discover ways in which we can experience the fullness of who we are as women of faith.
Meanwhile, I will continue writing "Finding the Faith Way," and I hope you continue to find challenge and inspiration at this location. A few of the entries I have posted here are appropriate for the new blog and will be repeated there. Writing for two blogs, however, I will not post entries for both of them every day, so check back often or "subscribe" through one of the newsreaders (see below).
Do you like the update of this blog? You will find some new features: a different look, a revised profile, and the subscription links.
MaryMartha
Showing posts with label women's concerns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women's concerns. Show all posts
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
But He Never Hit Me
Because of its relevance to women in particular, I have moved this post to my blog, "Claiming Our Selves," written especially for women. I invite you to read it here.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Two Brave Queens: Vashti and Esther
Almost every Sunday School child knows the story of Queen Esther, and how she bravely faced King Ahasureus (Xerxes, reigning from 486-465 B.C.) in order to spare the lives of her people, the Jews. When we’re young, we’re not told the whole story, really, because of some of its “adult content”!
In the third year of Ahasureus’s reign, he gave a sumptuous banquet for his military officers and the nobles and princes of the 127 provinces he ruled. For six months, he displayed the opulent wealth of his empire and his personal splendor. When that was over, he gave another banquet for all the people (men), great and small, in the courtyard of the palace. The garden was decorated extravagantly, with gold and silver couches arranged on a mosaic pavement of costly stones. Drinks were served in golden goblets, and the royal wine flowed freely, for the King had instructed his palace staff to serve each man as much as he wanted. And this feasting and drinking went on for a week!
Meanwhile, in the palace, Queen Vashti, the reigning queen, was hostess at a banquet for all the women. I am intrigued by Vashti’s story, although we are given the barest of details. We don’t know what the women drank—Kool-Aid maybe? I think they were not drinking a great deal of wine, because Vashti still had her wits about her, completely, as we shall see. On the seventh day, the King, in high spirits because of the wine, (he was just plain drunk!) sent seven of his attendants to call Queen Vashti. She must come to the King’s feast, wearing her royal crown which would signal to all who she was—and to whom she belonged. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty because she was a very lovely woman. Imagine! Several hundred drunken men ogling one beautiful woman—and who knows what other lascivious behavior would have ensued.
But Vashti refused! The King was furious. He consulted with his accustomed counselors who knew all the laws and customs. “What should be done to Queen Vashti?” he demanded. What penalty does the law provide for a queen who dares to refuse the King’s orders?”
One of the wise men answered, "It's not only the king Queen Vashti has insulted, it's all of us, leaders and people alike in every last one of King Xerxes' provinces. The word's going to get out: 'Did you hear the latest about Queen Vashti? King Xerxes ordered her to be brought before him and she wouldn't do it!' When the women hear it, they'll start treating their husbands with contempt. The day the wives of the Persian and Mede officials get wind of the queen's insolence, they'll be out of control. Is that what we want, a country of angry women who don't know their place?
"So, if the king agrees, let him pronounce a royal ruling and have it recorded in the laws of the Persians and Medes so that it cannot be revoked, that Vashti is permanently banned from King Xerxes' presence. And then let the king give her royal position to a woman who knows her place. When the king's ruling becomes public knowledge throughout the kingdom, extensive as it is, every woman, regardless of her social position, will show proper respect to her husband.’ The king and the princes liked this. The king did what [the counselor] proposed. He sent bulletins to every part of the kingdom, to each province in its own script, to each people in their own language: ‘Every man is master of his own house; whatever he says, goes.’ " (Esther 1:16-22)
After the King had calmed down a bit, he began to have second thoughts about the beautiful Vashti and what he had ordered. Since the ruling could not be rescinded, the King’s young attendants suggested that a search be conducted throughout the kingdom to bring every beautiful young virgin to the royal harem. There they would all be given twelve months of beauty treatments, and after that, the young woman who most pleased the King would be made queen, replacing Vashti. Each young woman in turn was to spend one night with the King, thus becoming a “secondary wife” who could not marry any other man. She must live as a recluse unless the King specifically sent for her again. And that is how Esther became the queen, for she had a lovely figure and beautiful face, which naturally pleased the lustful king.
Read the whole story of Queen Esther again; she was indeed very brave. She said, “I will,” and risked her life. I will go in to the King although he hasn’t sent for me. I will expose the wicked man who has plotted against my people. I will stand up for my Uncle Mordecai who has taken me as his own daughter. I will find a way to save my people. “And if I perish, I perish.” But Vashti too was enormously courageous. She said, ”I will not,” and lost her throne. We never hear of her in Scripture again.
Probably Vashti was not a believer in the God of Israel, but she was a woman who had the moral strength to tell her evil husband “no.” In those days, women—even queens— did not tell their husbands what they would or would not do, especially not with a whole empire of subjugated women watching. But Vashti did not let fear prevent her from doing right. And for that, I have to admire her.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
In the third year of Ahasureus’s reign, he gave a sumptuous banquet for his military officers and the nobles and princes of the 127 provinces he ruled. For six months, he displayed the opulent wealth of his empire and his personal splendor. When that was over, he gave another banquet for all the people (men), great and small, in the courtyard of the palace. The garden was decorated extravagantly, with gold and silver couches arranged on a mosaic pavement of costly stones. Drinks were served in golden goblets, and the royal wine flowed freely, for the King had instructed his palace staff to serve each man as much as he wanted. And this feasting and drinking went on for a week!
Meanwhile, in the palace, Queen Vashti, the reigning queen, was hostess at a banquet for all the women. I am intrigued by Vashti’s story, although we are given the barest of details. We don’t know what the women drank—Kool-Aid maybe? I think they were not drinking a great deal of wine, because Vashti still had her wits about her, completely, as we shall see. On the seventh day, the King, in high spirits because of the wine, (he was just plain drunk!) sent seven of his attendants to call Queen Vashti. She must come to the King’s feast, wearing her royal crown which would signal to all who she was—and to whom she belonged. He wanted the nobles and all the other men to gaze on her beauty because she was a very lovely woman. Imagine! Several hundred drunken men ogling one beautiful woman—and who knows what other lascivious behavior would have ensued.
But Vashti refused! The King was furious. He consulted with his accustomed counselors who knew all the laws and customs. “What should be done to Queen Vashti?” he demanded. What penalty does the law provide for a queen who dares to refuse the King’s orders?”
One of the wise men answered, "It's not only the king Queen Vashti has insulted, it's all of us, leaders and people alike in every last one of King Xerxes' provinces. The word's going to get out: 'Did you hear the latest about Queen Vashti? King Xerxes ordered her to be brought before him and she wouldn't do it!' When the women hear it, they'll start treating their husbands with contempt. The day the wives of the Persian and Mede officials get wind of the queen's insolence, they'll be out of control. Is that what we want, a country of angry women who don't know their place?
"So, if the king agrees, let him pronounce a royal ruling and have it recorded in the laws of the Persians and Medes so that it cannot be revoked, that Vashti is permanently banned from King Xerxes' presence. And then let the king give her royal position to a woman who knows her place. When the king's ruling becomes public knowledge throughout the kingdom, extensive as it is, every woman, regardless of her social position, will show proper respect to her husband.’ The king and the princes liked this. The king did what [the counselor] proposed. He sent bulletins to every part of the kingdom, to each province in its own script, to each people in their own language: ‘Every man is master of his own house; whatever he says, goes.’ " (Esther 1:16-22)
After the King had calmed down a bit, he began to have second thoughts about the beautiful Vashti and what he had ordered. Since the ruling could not be rescinded, the King’s young attendants suggested that a search be conducted throughout the kingdom to bring every beautiful young virgin to the royal harem. There they would all be given twelve months of beauty treatments, and after that, the young woman who most pleased the King would be made queen, replacing Vashti. Each young woman in turn was to spend one night with the King, thus becoming a “secondary wife” who could not marry any other man. She must live as a recluse unless the King specifically sent for her again. And that is how Esther became the queen, for she had a lovely figure and beautiful face, which naturally pleased the lustful king.
Read the whole story of Queen Esther again; she was indeed very brave. She said, “I will,” and risked her life. I will go in to the King although he hasn’t sent for me. I will expose the wicked man who has plotted against my people. I will stand up for my Uncle Mordecai who has taken me as his own daughter. I will find a way to save my people. “And if I perish, I perish.” But Vashti too was enormously courageous. She said, ”I will not,” and lost her throne. We never hear of her in Scripture again.
Probably Vashti was not a believer in the God of Israel, but she was a woman who had the moral strength to tell her evil husband “no.” In those days, women—even queens— did not tell their husbands what they would or would not do, especially not with a whole empire of subjugated women watching. But Vashti did not let fear prevent her from doing right. And for that, I have to admire her.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Monday, October 6, 2008
Things Mama Taught Me: "Tell the Truth"
On Being Honest with Myself
My mother was an honest woman. When I was a youngster, she told me she’d rather die than live a lie, and she maintained that life of integrity into old age. In her declining years, she told the family members who checked in with her regularly, “When you tell me it’s time to move to Sunny Villa (not its real name), I will go without making a fuss.” So inevitably, the time came when she could no longer safely live alone, and we said, “Mom, it’s time.”
“Oh, I’m not ready to leave my home yet!” she told us.
“Mom, you promised us that when the time came, you would go without a fuss. Do you remember?”
“Yes . . . yes. Well, all right then.” And, true to her word, she went without a fuss. It was not easy for her, but there was no fuss.
So I grew up valuing honesty, telling the truth because that was the example lived before me. There is one person, however, to whom I have found it difficult to tell the truth.
Me.
Sometimes I haven’t recognized the truth, even though it was right there. Through many years of my adult life, and without realizing it, I surrounded myself with people who used me. Organizations that deceived and cheated, that took serious advantage of me financially (in the name of God). Strong leaders who used the subtle power of approval to build a personal following, who controlled my time and my job and my money and my friendships, who ordered my life with should’s and must’s while they covered up their own private wrongdoing (in the name of God). “Friends,” a lot of them, who were only takers because I was so ready to give, who laid unfair claims on me by their unending neediness (in the name of God). Because I was absolutely sincere in my intentions, no one shook me and said “Wake up, girl!” But the time came when the pressure became too great and could no longer be contained neatly. A family member intervened. “This is abuse,” she said, and my façade began to crack.
Over a number of months after that, I began to realize that not only was the present situation abusive, but also that I had permitted, again and again, unreasonable and unhealthy demands to be made on my life. I discovered that Christian women—mothers, wives, friends, employees, members of a faith community—can and must establish boundaries to protect themselves from destructive relationships.
It may be hard for some people to reconcile the teachings of Jesus about love and forgiveness and self-sacrifice with the necessity to preserve one’s health and sanity. I know how difficult that can be; I found it so difficult that I missed making the connection for most of my adult life. Our Lord never intended for loving God and others to exclude self-care. He told His followers that the two greatest commandments were to love God with all one’s heart and mind and strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself. It is very hard, maybe impossible, to love and care for others appropriately unless we have a proper respect for ourselves.
Jesus Himself did not minister non-stop to needy people. One time He told all His disciples to come with Him to a quiet place to take a break; they hadn’t even had time for lunch. People were constantly coming and going—people with genuine needs, people who apparently thought Jesus and the disciples should be meeting those needs. (Seeing Jesus’ crew leaving in a boat, the people hurried on foot from the surrounding villages, and beat them to their remote resting spot—but that’s another story.) And once, the Scripture tells us, Jesus was tired from a long walk and sat wearily by a well while His disciples went to a nearby city to buy groceries. So Jesus was not at all insensitive to His own needs or those of His followers. May I put it bluntly? Jesus did not teach His followers to be stupid.
The Apostle Paul echoes Jesus’ teaching. He says, “Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” (Ephesians 5:28, 29) Here Paul makes the simple assumption that people (women as well as men) need to care for themselves. It is just expected. Permitting ourselves to be manipulated by others into caring for them, not along with but instead of caring for ourselves, is not Jesus’ way.
So I am learning to tell myself the truth—the hardest person to whom I must tell the truth.. It is a journey not yet complete. I have shared this much of my story, not because I need catharsis, but because I wonder if there is a reader somewhere who will recognize herself in a part of my experience—and begin to tell herself the truth.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
My mother was an honest woman. When I was a youngster, she told me she’d rather die than live a lie, and she maintained that life of integrity into old age. In her declining years, she told the family members who checked in with her regularly, “When you tell me it’s time to move to Sunny Villa (not its real name), I will go without making a fuss.” So inevitably, the time came when she could no longer safely live alone, and we said, “Mom, it’s time.”
“Oh, I’m not ready to leave my home yet!” she told us.
“Mom, you promised us that when the time came, you would go without a fuss. Do you remember?”
“Yes . . . yes. Well, all right then.” And, true to her word, she went without a fuss. It was not easy for her, but there was no fuss.
So I grew up valuing honesty, telling the truth because that was the example lived before me. There is one person, however, to whom I have found it difficult to tell the truth.
Me.
Sometimes I haven’t recognized the truth, even though it was right there. Through many years of my adult life, and without realizing it, I surrounded myself with people who used me. Organizations that deceived and cheated, that took serious advantage of me financially (in the name of God). Strong leaders who used the subtle power of approval to build a personal following, who controlled my time and my job and my money and my friendships, who ordered my life with should’s and must’s while they covered up their own private wrongdoing (in the name of God). “Friends,” a lot of them, who were only takers because I was so ready to give, who laid unfair claims on me by their unending neediness (in the name of God). Because I was absolutely sincere in my intentions, no one shook me and said “Wake up, girl!” But the time came when the pressure became too great and could no longer be contained neatly. A family member intervened. “This is abuse,” she said, and my façade began to crack.
Over a number of months after that, I began to realize that not only was the present situation abusive, but also that I had permitted, again and again, unreasonable and unhealthy demands to be made on my life. I discovered that Christian women—mothers, wives, friends, employees, members of a faith community—can and must establish boundaries to protect themselves from destructive relationships.
It may be hard for some people to reconcile the teachings of Jesus about love and forgiveness and self-sacrifice with the necessity to preserve one’s health and sanity. I know how difficult that can be; I found it so difficult that I missed making the connection for most of my adult life. Our Lord never intended for loving God and others to exclude self-care. He told His followers that the two greatest commandments were to love God with all one’s heart and mind and strength, and to love one’s neighbor as oneself. It is very hard, maybe impossible, to love and care for others appropriately unless we have a proper respect for ourselves.
Jesus Himself did not minister non-stop to needy people. One time He told all His disciples to come with Him to a quiet place to take a break; they hadn’t even had time for lunch. People were constantly coming and going—people with genuine needs, people who apparently thought Jesus and the disciples should be meeting those needs. (Seeing Jesus’ crew leaving in a boat, the people hurried on foot from the surrounding villages, and beat them to their remote resting spot—but that’s another story.) And once, the Scripture tells us, Jesus was tired from a long walk and sat wearily by a well while His disciples went to a nearby city to buy groceries. So Jesus was not at all insensitive to His own needs or those of His followers. May I put it bluntly? Jesus did not teach His followers to be stupid.
The Apostle Paul echoes Jesus’ teaching. He says, “Husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.” (Ephesians 5:28, 29) Here Paul makes the simple assumption that people (women as well as men) need to care for themselves. It is just expected. Permitting ourselves to be manipulated by others into caring for them, not along with but instead of caring for ourselves, is not Jesus’ way.
So I am learning to tell myself the truth—the hardest person to whom I must tell the truth.. It is a journey not yet complete. I have shared this much of my story, not because I need catharsis, but because I wonder if there is a reader somewhere who will recognize herself in a part of my experience—and begin to tell herself the truth.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sarah and Her Daughters
Sarah is another woman of the Bible in whom I have a great interest. She is the prototype for women of faith, standing almost alone in the Scripture’s “Hall of Faith” (chapter 11 of Hebrews). She is a held up as stellar example of another characteristic as well: submission. The Apostle Peter writes that the holy women of the past put their hope in God and were submissive to their husbands, “like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (I Peter 3:6 NIV, emphasis mine)
Sarah, in her submission to her husband, was reflecting the culture surrounding her, both religious and secular: Women, even several wives, were part of a man’s possessions. Sarah was submissive to the point of risking her own integrity, cooperating twice with her husband’s deceit in calling her his “sister” (technically, his half-sister, so a half-truth) rather than acknowledging that she was his wife. There is no record of her objections. She was submissive because she was owned by him.
Even given these facts, I cannot imagine that Sarah sounded very submissive when she learned that Abraham was taking Isaac, the long-awaited promised son, off to Mt. Moriah to sacrifice him. Perhaps something like this:
“You’re going to do what? Are you out of your mind?”
“Not Isaac! Ishmael maybe. But not my baby!”
“Well, you’re not taking him. It’ll be over my dead body!”
And finally, “You will not be coming into my tent again for the rest of your life!”
Abraham was not to be deterred. He insisted. Loudly.
I can imagine that at last, weary with weeping and pleading, Sarah gave in. What else could she do? She couldn’t very well bite and claw until she got her way. And what if her husband had indeed heard from God? She did not want to rebel against the Almighty. She was more afraid of offending God than she was of her husband’s actions. That is why the Scripture says, “You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. (1 Peter 3:6 NLT, emphasis mine). The MaryMartha version is “Do what is right, regardless.”
Things may not have gone smoothly for Abraham when he returned home either, even though Isaac came back safely with him. There must have been some pretty vigorous discussion! Still, most couples go through times of disagreement and have to negotiate a solution, even sometimes with a mediator. Unfortunately, some women that you and I know, and many that we do not, are in terrible, nonnegotiable circumstances. What can they do?
I personally believe there are some absolutes:
(1) Submission is not an imperative for women only. The Apostle Paul is often quoted on the subject, but before he addresses husbands and wives separately, he says to all his readers, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21 NLT) Not even learned Bible scholars agree on how far wifely submission should go when there is not the mutual submission clearly taught by the Scripture. It would be very difficult for those outside the situation to determine exactly what the answer is for someone else. We are Sarah’s daughters. We will “do what is right without giving way to fear.”
(2) The key feature of submission, as I understand it, is humility. One contemporary writer cautioned that an outwardly meek and dutiful wife could nonetheless be harboring a bitter and rebellious spirit. While that is true, I offer the counter suggestion that an inwardly gentle and submissive wife might very well speak unequivocal words and take decisive action. We are Sarah’s daughters. We will “do what is right without giving way to fear.”
(3) God’s original intention for marriage was companionship. All the while Adam was naming the animals, he must have seen that they were in pairs, yet he himself had no one. God saw this, and He said, “It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." (Genesis 2:18 The Message) Taking one of Adam’s ribs, He made woman and presented her to the Man. Adam saw immediately, “This beautiful creature is like me! But different too. What a great idea!” And this, the Scripture explains, is why “a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” God really did have a great plan! It is we who have managed to make, in many cases, a mockery of His intention with our marriage hierarchies of master-servant or parent-child or advisor-learner or controller-subordinate. We are Sarah’s daughters. We will “do what is right without giving way to fear.”
(4) We love and serve the God of hope. He is absolutely aware of the situation; He is in it with the sufferers. He will certainly make a way, although it is not the same for everyone. Most women will need wise counsel; some will need legal advice or intervention by the law; some will need a safe place for awhile. God will give hope to some in their situation; He will give hope to others out of theirs. But we are Sarah’s daughters, and we will do what is right without giving way to fear.”
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture quotation marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Sarah, in her submission to her husband, was reflecting the culture surrounding her, both religious and secular: Women, even several wives, were part of a man’s possessions. Sarah was submissive to the point of risking her own integrity, cooperating twice with her husband’s deceit in calling her his “sister” (technically, his half-sister, so a half-truth) rather than acknowledging that she was his wife. There is no record of her objections. She was submissive because she was owned by him.
Even given these facts, I cannot imagine that Sarah sounded very submissive when she learned that Abraham was taking Isaac, the long-awaited promised son, off to Mt. Moriah to sacrifice him. Perhaps something like this:
“You’re going to do what? Are you out of your mind?”
“Not Isaac! Ishmael maybe. But not my baby!”
“Well, you’re not taking him. It’ll be over my dead body!”
And finally, “You will not be coming into my tent again for the rest of your life!”
Abraham was not to be deterred. He insisted. Loudly.
I can imagine that at last, weary with weeping and pleading, Sarah gave in. What else could she do? She couldn’t very well bite and claw until she got her way. And what if her husband had indeed heard from God? She did not want to rebel against the Almighty. She was more afraid of offending God than she was of her husband’s actions. That is why the Scripture says, “You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. (1 Peter 3:6 NLT, emphasis mine). The MaryMartha version is “Do what is right, regardless.”
Things may not have gone smoothly for Abraham when he returned home either, even though Isaac came back safely with him. There must have been some pretty vigorous discussion! Still, most couples go through times of disagreement and have to negotiate a solution, even sometimes with a mediator. Unfortunately, some women that you and I know, and many that we do not, are in terrible, nonnegotiable circumstances. What can they do?
I personally believe there are some absolutes:
(1) Submission is not an imperative for women only. The Apostle Paul is often quoted on the subject, but before he addresses husbands and wives separately, he says to all his readers, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21 NLT) Not even learned Bible scholars agree on how far wifely submission should go when there is not the mutual submission clearly taught by the Scripture. It would be very difficult for those outside the situation to determine exactly what the answer is for someone else. We are Sarah’s daughters. We will “do what is right without giving way to fear.”
(2) The key feature of submission, as I understand it, is humility. One contemporary writer cautioned that an outwardly meek and dutiful wife could nonetheless be harboring a bitter and rebellious spirit. While that is true, I offer the counter suggestion that an inwardly gentle and submissive wife might very well speak unequivocal words and take decisive action. We are Sarah’s daughters. We will “do what is right without giving way to fear.”
(3) God’s original intention for marriage was companionship. All the while Adam was naming the animals, he must have seen that they were in pairs, yet he himself had no one. God saw this, and He said, “It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." (Genesis 2:18 The Message) Taking one of Adam’s ribs, He made woman and presented her to the Man. Adam saw immediately, “This beautiful creature is like me! But different too. What a great idea!” And this, the Scripture explains, is why “a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” God really did have a great plan! It is we who have managed to make, in many cases, a mockery of His intention with our marriage hierarchies of master-servant or parent-child or advisor-learner or controller-subordinate. We are Sarah’s daughters. We will “do what is right without giving way to fear.”
(4) We love and serve the God of hope. He is absolutely aware of the situation; He is in it with the sufferers. He will certainly make a way, although it is not the same for everyone. Most women will need wise counsel; some will need legal advice or intervention by the law; some will need a safe place for awhile. God will give hope to some in their situation; He will give hope to others out of theirs. But we are Sarah’s daughters, and we will do what is right without giving way to fear.”
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture quotation marked NIV is taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked NLT are taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from The Message. Copyright © 2003 by Eugene H. Peterson. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Friday, September 12, 2008
Eve and Consequences
Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage union before they disobeyed the direct command of God. While Adam was busy naming all of the animals, he kept looking for a helper, but there wasn’t one “just right for him.” So God made a woman out of a rib taken from Adam and brought her to the man. “At last!” Adam exclaimed. He recognized in Eve someone just like himself, yet different in ways that would make her the perfect complement and companion.
When blessing became curse because the couple ate forbidden fruit, God punished all of the participants. The serpent (Satan in disguise) became a despised creature, had to slither along on the ground, and would ultimately be conquered by woman’s Offspring (Jesus). The man’s efforts to make the earth--his work, in general--productive became much more difficult and sometimes even futile; eventually, he would die and return to the earth from which he came. (This would be true of all the human race, women as well as men.) The woman would endure pain in bearing children, and then God said to her, “And though you will have desire for your husband, he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 margin)
This cannot, I am sure, be the beginning of human desire for one another. God had already written procreation into His plan, and He had already had “the talk” with the human beings telling them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” So what is different now that sin has entered the picture? She will always want more than her husband is able to give. I do not see at all that this verse delegates Adam to take authority over Eve or for her to be subject to him in the sense of being controlled. She simply would have to accept the fact that she couldn’t make Adam be something that he was not able to be on his own. Now that they were out of touch with the Creator, what she wanted was going to be “overruled” by the sinful person she had to live with.
Although cultural norms in ancient days—and as recently as the last century in our own country—put women under the control of men, I do not believe this is taught in Scripture. (See my posts on authority and submission.) But just as Eve’s desires were overruled by Adam, there is no husband today who can ever be enough to satisfy the deepest yearnings of the woman to whom he is married. No matter how perfect the marriage, no matter how full of love and respect the relationship is, there is a need in them both that the other cannot fill. It was true for Adam and Eve; they needed God. They needed to walk with Him in the garden when the cool evening breezes blew. They needed to talk with Him, share their plans, and share His plans. If Adam and Eve in their perfect world found they needed more than just each other, how much more we in our troubled society need more than human intimacy!
But what if one sincerely believes that this “rule” over the woman does indeed mean she is to be obedient and submissive? Then consider the fact that this stipulation was the result of wrongdoing. It was not the original Divine intention. Wouldn’t it seem then that the more fully we give ourselves to following Jesus, the closer we could approach the ideal—harmony in our marriages and unbroken fellowship with God?
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
When blessing became curse because the couple ate forbidden fruit, God punished all of the participants. The serpent (Satan in disguise) became a despised creature, had to slither along on the ground, and would ultimately be conquered by woman’s Offspring (Jesus). The man’s efforts to make the earth--his work, in general--productive became much more difficult and sometimes even futile; eventually, he would die and return to the earth from which he came. (This would be true of all the human race, women as well as men.) The woman would endure pain in bearing children, and then God said to her, “And though you will have desire for your husband, he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16 margin)
This cannot, I am sure, be the beginning of human desire for one another. God had already written procreation into His plan, and He had already had “the talk” with the human beings telling them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” So what is different now that sin has entered the picture? She will always want more than her husband is able to give. I do not see at all that this verse delegates Adam to take authority over Eve or for her to be subject to him in the sense of being controlled. She simply would have to accept the fact that she couldn’t make Adam be something that he was not able to be on his own. Now that they were out of touch with the Creator, what she wanted was going to be “overruled” by the sinful person she had to live with.
Although cultural norms in ancient days—and as recently as the last century in our own country—put women under the control of men, I do not believe this is taught in Scripture. (See my posts on authority and submission.) But just as Eve’s desires were overruled by Adam, there is no husband today who can ever be enough to satisfy the deepest yearnings of the woman to whom he is married. No matter how perfect the marriage, no matter how full of love and respect the relationship is, there is a need in them both that the other cannot fill. It was true for Adam and Eve; they needed God. They needed to walk with Him in the garden when the cool evening breezes blew. They needed to talk with Him, share their plans, and share His plans. If Adam and Eve in their perfect world found they needed more than just each other, how much more we in our troubled society need more than human intimacy!
But what if one sincerely believes that this “rule” over the woman does indeed mean she is to be obedient and submissive? Then consider the fact that this stipulation was the result of wrongdoing. It was not the original Divine intention. Wouldn’t it seem then that the more fully we give ourselves to following Jesus, the closer we could approach the ideal—harmony in our marriages and unbroken fellowship with God?
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture quotation is taken from The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. United States of America. All rights reserved.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Monday, September 1, 2008
Another Bad Word: Submission
This entry is now posted at http://claiming-our-selves.blogspot.com/2009/09/another-bad-word-submission/html
MaryMartha
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Mary and Her Adult Son
One of the difficult things about becoming older is that our children have grown older too! That’s just great if they follow reasonably well the path we had envisioned for them. It can be tough if we see them making decisions that don’t seem wise, or choices that we think are big mistakes. We are not alone. Mary is another Bible woman whose life inspires and instructs me. She had Jesus Himself for a son, but she may have had some of the same adjustment problems we do.
He was only twelve—still her “baby”—when He first seemed to reject her. After worshipping in Jerusalem, she and Joseph had traveled a whole day’s journey toward home when they realized Jesus was not with any of their relatives or acquaintances. They returned to the City and after three days of searching they found Him in the Temple with the teachers, listening to them and asking questions. Did Mary scold as we probably would have? “Jesus! Where have you been? We have been frantic, looking everywhere for you. How could you do this to us?”
“You shouldn’t have worried about me,” Jesus had answered. “Don’t you know that I have to be about my Father’s business?”
His Father’s business? What can so young a lad know of God’s will? True, he is considered a man now, but to suppose that he understands the ways of the Most High? Mary must have wondered . . . And even though He returned to Nazareth with them that very day, and was—as He had always been—an obedient and loving son with obvious endowments of gentleness, wisdom, and the grace of God, perhaps Mary carried in her heart from that time onward the secret knowledge: I will not always be able to hold this son. Someday I will have to learn to trust him to know what God wants for his life. I will have to release him, eventually, to do his Father’s will.
Years later, Mary had attended a wedding of family friends in Cana. Jesus had demonstrated then also where His deepest allegiance lay. Several days into celebrating the young couple’s new life together, the unthinkable happened. The hosts ran out of wine! They were greatly embarrassed, and Mary felt sorry for them in their predicament. She turned to Jesus; surely He would know what to say or do to help their friends. “Son,” she said to Him that day, “they have no wine.”
“Yes, my good woman,” He had answered, respectfully but still not acknowledging Mary as His mother to those around Him. “I know, and I can appreciate your concern. But please don’t ask me for anything just to honor family ties. Let me do what it’s time in God’s plan for me to do.” Mary must have realized: Jesus will do what needs to be done. Not necessarily what a sympathetic onlooker thinks best. Perhaps not even what a mother-heart desires. He will act in accord with the Heavenly Father’s will. I must yield to that. Ah, but it isn’t easy to let go! I am his mother! Surely it’s not wrong to want a few special favors?
And finally, as Jesus was teaching one day in a home, Mary and Jesus’ brothers arrived to visit Him. The place was already packed, and they found they could not even get near Him. So they just stood outside, and sent someone in to call Him. Some in the crowd near Jesus told Him, “Your mother and brothers are outside wanting to see you.”
"Who are my mother and my brothers?" He asked. Then looking at those seated in a circle around Him, He said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever hears God’s Word and puts it into practice is my brother and sister and mother. Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my family."
What must Mary have thought when someone reported to her that Jesus was not responding to her request? How could Jesus disown us, his own family? Is he suddenly too good to associate with us? He is just Jesus, my oldest boy. Why can’t I see him, speak to him, touch him? Why did he—how did he—escape the closest of human ties, that with his own mother?
So here we have Mary’s dilemma, much like our own as our children change quickly from toddlers into teens and then adulthood. We must accept that each of them has to follow God and the yearning in his/her own heart. Every mother loses her sons and daughters, because babies grow up. They marry, they work long hours, they move away to other cities or even other countries. Or sometimes they don’t grow and they die as children; for others, life is cut short at some point. Whatever the case, these sons and daughters loosen the ties that keep them close to their mothers and, one by one, they slip away. All of us have to say “Goodbye.”
Although that centuries-old contraction of “God be with you,” means letting go, it does not mean a final loss. As we hear the Word of God and obey it, we are joined in an added way to our loved ones. On the day Mary learned that Jesus was claiming as family all those who do the Heavenly Father’s will, she must have known that included her. And today it includes us and our families. I may have to let them go, but I will never lose them. As together we hear the Word of God and obey it, we will be joined forever with Jesus in the family which nothing can alter—not distance, not even death. This dear son, this dear daughter, will never be farther away than a heartbeat of submission to God’s will.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
He was only twelve—still her “baby”—when He first seemed to reject her. After worshipping in Jerusalem, she and Joseph had traveled a whole day’s journey toward home when they realized Jesus was not with any of their relatives or acquaintances. They returned to the City and after three days of searching they found Him in the Temple with the teachers, listening to them and asking questions. Did Mary scold as we probably would have? “Jesus! Where have you been? We have been frantic, looking everywhere for you. How could you do this to us?”
“You shouldn’t have worried about me,” Jesus had answered. “Don’t you know that I have to be about my Father’s business?”
His Father’s business? What can so young a lad know of God’s will? True, he is considered a man now, but to suppose that he understands the ways of the Most High? Mary must have wondered . . . And even though He returned to Nazareth with them that very day, and was—as He had always been—an obedient and loving son with obvious endowments of gentleness, wisdom, and the grace of God, perhaps Mary carried in her heart from that time onward the secret knowledge: I will not always be able to hold this son. Someday I will have to learn to trust him to know what God wants for his life. I will have to release him, eventually, to do his Father’s will.
Years later, Mary had attended a wedding of family friends in Cana. Jesus had demonstrated then also where His deepest allegiance lay. Several days into celebrating the young couple’s new life together, the unthinkable happened. The hosts ran out of wine! They were greatly embarrassed, and Mary felt sorry for them in their predicament. She turned to Jesus; surely He would know what to say or do to help their friends. “Son,” she said to Him that day, “they have no wine.”
“Yes, my good woman,” He had answered, respectfully but still not acknowledging Mary as His mother to those around Him. “I know, and I can appreciate your concern. But please don’t ask me for anything just to honor family ties. Let me do what it’s time in God’s plan for me to do.” Mary must have realized: Jesus will do what needs to be done. Not necessarily what a sympathetic onlooker thinks best. Perhaps not even what a mother-heart desires. He will act in accord with the Heavenly Father’s will. I must yield to that. Ah, but it isn’t easy to let go! I am his mother! Surely it’s not wrong to want a few special favors?
And finally, as Jesus was teaching one day in a home, Mary and Jesus’ brothers arrived to visit Him. The place was already packed, and they found they could not even get near Him. So they just stood outside, and sent someone in to call Him. Some in the crowd near Jesus told Him, “Your mother and brothers are outside wanting to see you.”
"Who are my mother and my brothers?" He asked. Then looking at those seated in a circle around Him, He said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever hears God’s Word and puts it into practice is my brother and sister and mother. Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my family."
What must Mary have thought when someone reported to her that Jesus was not responding to her request? How could Jesus disown us, his own family? Is he suddenly too good to associate with us? He is just Jesus, my oldest boy. Why can’t I see him, speak to him, touch him? Why did he—how did he—escape the closest of human ties, that with his own mother?
So here we have Mary’s dilemma, much like our own as our children change quickly from toddlers into teens and then adulthood. We must accept that each of them has to follow God and the yearning in his/her own heart. Every mother loses her sons and daughters, because babies grow up. They marry, they work long hours, they move away to other cities or even other countries. Or sometimes they don’t grow and they die as children; for others, life is cut short at some point. Whatever the case, these sons and daughters loosen the ties that keep them close to their mothers and, one by one, they slip away. All of us have to say “Goodbye.”
Although that centuries-old contraction of “God be with you,” means letting go, it does not mean a final loss. As we hear the Word of God and obey it, we are joined in an added way to our loved ones. On the day Mary learned that Jesus was claiming as family all those who do the Heavenly Father’s will, she must have known that included her. And today it includes us and our families. I may have to let them go, but I will never lose them. As together we hear the Word of God and obey it, we will be joined forever with Jesus in the family which nothing can alter—not distance, not even death. This dear son, this dear daughter, will never be farther away than a heartbeat of submission to God’s will.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
A Face, A Voice
I have a doll in my office, purchased from a gift shop in an Indiana community. She has no face. I understand that is a matter of conscience to the makers of such dolls. But while I respect what the doll represents as a part of my heritage, she also stirs some negative feelings in me. There are many reasons why some citizens of the world are disenfranchised. They have no face and no voice. It is sad to me that in many spheres of life, being a woman or a child is enough to marginalize one.
An interview I was reading recently included the familiar line, “I am woman, hear me roar.” That is the title of a song (Helen Reddy and Ray Burton) released in its most well-known version in 1972, and it became the “anthem” for the women’s movement. I thought to myself, “I'm not really into roaring. Many of the women I know are not into roaring. So what is it that we really want?”
I am woman—
Hear me dream out loud. I have creative ideas. I want to try them out.
Hear me make decisions. And yes, I will take responsibility for what happens next.
Hear me voice my opinions—even when we don’t agree.
Hear me offer suggestions.
Hear me sing and pray—and perhaps even preach. (God is an EOE.)
Hear me share love, and learning, and life.
I am grateful for the men and women in my everyday world who hear me even though I don’t roar. These are people in positions that often are not woman-friendly. My auto mechanic is always genuinely courteous, disregarding the fact that we both know I am not sure what I’m talking about. My doctor treats me as a whole person, asking me what my feelings are as well as how I feel. My pastor encourages me to participate fully in the faith community, even when that means asking the hard questions. My supervisor respectfully considers my thoughts on how to improve our service. My attorney never minimizes my concerns, but gives me dignity and thoughtful responses. And of course, my “healing” friends are there for me whether I am hopeful or hurting.
I wish such a line-up of supportive people were a part of every woman’s life. While we don’t choose our families, we do choose friends and professional helper-type persons. You deserve to find those who will listen, so keep looking and don’t settle for people who won’t. You have a face and a voice.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
An interview I was reading recently included the familiar line, “I am woman, hear me roar.” That is the title of a song (Helen Reddy and Ray Burton) released in its most well-known version in 1972, and it became the “anthem” for the women’s movement. I thought to myself, “I'm not really into roaring. Many of the women I know are not into roaring. So what is it that we really want?”
I am woman—
Hear me dream out loud. I have creative ideas. I want to try them out.
Hear me make decisions. And yes, I will take responsibility for what happens next.
Hear me voice my opinions—even when we don’t agree.
Hear me offer suggestions.
Hear me sing and pray—and perhaps even preach. (God is an EOE.)
Hear me share love, and learning, and life.
I am grateful for the men and women in my everyday world who hear me even though I don’t roar. These are people in positions that often are not woman-friendly. My auto mechanic is always genuinely courteous, disregarding the fact that we both know I am not sure what I’m talking about. My doctor treats me as a whole person, asking me what my feelings are as well as how I feel. My pastor encourages me to participate fully in the faith community, even when that means asking the hard questions. My supervisor respectfully considers my thoughts on how to improve our service. My attorney never minimizes my concerns, but gives me dignity and thoughtful responses. And of course, my “healing” friends are there for me whether I am hopeful or hurting.
I wish such a line-up of supportive people were a part of every woman’s life. While we don’t choose our families, we do choose friends and professional helper-type persons. You deserve to find those who will listen, so keep looking and don’t settle for people who won’t. You have a face and a voice.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Monday, August 18, 2008
The Patience of Mrs. Job
I am intrigued by the lives of women in the Bible about whom we know very little. I like to imagine what it must have been like for these women who are our foremothers in faith. Job’s wife is one of them. Many of us are familiar with the story of Job himself, for his patience is legendary. But mostly what we remember about Mrs. Job is that in his terrible time of suffering, she told him, “Why don’t you just give up—curse God and die?” I think there is more to the story than that, for she too must have learned patience.
Job had it all: huge flocks and herds, a great many servants, a family of seven sons and three daughters. And he was a good man too, truly fearing God. He had no early warning when trouble came. It was just a normal day, but in a matter of minutes, one messenger interrupting another, Job learned that he had lost everything: livestock driven away by raiding bands, servants killed, sheepfolds and flocks burned, all his children crushed in a terrible windstorm. Mrs. Job must have heard her husband’s loud wails as he prayed with his face to the ground, “You gave me all I had, O Lord, and, all of a sudden, You have taken it away. I don’t understand, but still I bless Your name. You do all things well.”
And what about Mrs. Job? Calamity had emptied her life too of everything that was dear to her. Probably, since she would be pretty much like us, she was suffocating with heartache and desperately hoping that what Job believed was true. But the trouble wasn’t over. Job was struck with fever and a terrible, festering disease of the skin. He sat in the ashes of the fire pit, scraping the oozing sores with a piece of broken pottery. Seeing this suffering was intolerable for Mrs. Job.
We know, all these centuries later, why all of this was happening because we have the whole story of Satan’s attempt to make Job forsake his faith in God. But Mrs. Job did not know. There seemed to be no reason at all for this suffering other than a capricious, uncaring God. It is then that she decided her husband would be better off to give up on God and die, and so we have her famous discouraging words. I can imagine that Mrs. Job stormed away, angry with God that He should so afflict an undeserving man, angry at Job that he so patiently submitted to the suffering.
Word spread of the sorry spectacle to be seen at the home of Job in Uz. Several acquaintances came from a distance to see him. At first, they sat quietly with Job, sharing his grief. (A wonderful idea!) But one by one, and with a great many words, they began to criticize and rebuke him. Job defended himself, knowing that he was not deserving of God’s wrath. On and on the arguing went with many accusations and denials, long speeches and equally long rebuttals. In his anguish, Job even had words with God! The final insult thrown at Job was, “Don’t expect that the majestic Creator of all the earth is going to respond to your pitiful whimpering, Job. Your pleas are in vain.”
Just then a furious whirlwind descended on them, and at last God spoke to Job. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” He asked. He questioned Job thoroughly. “Did you lay the boundaries of the seas? Can you tell where daylight dwells and where is the place of darkness? Who do you think you are?”
“Oh Lord God,” Job answered humbly, “I was wrong to question you, insisting that You had to explain everything to me, that You had to give me reasons for all that has happened in my life. You are God! God! Who did I think I was, calling on you to justify your purposes?”
That wind-tossed night was the turning point in their experience of loss and restoration. Job’s family members gathered around him, and his acquaintances came to visit, bringing words of encouragement and sharing their prosperity. With wise management, Job rebuilt his flocks and herds, and God blessed the latter days more than the beginning, giving Job twice as much as he had before! But it seems that while they lived, God never did give them an explanation for the losses they had suffered, nor could they see why, suddenly, He began answering every prayer. The reasons were not nearly as important as their surrender of the need to have a reason for everything. They waited patiently for the Lord, without knowing.
But the greatest loss was the children. “You are still young,” the other women may have told Mrs. Job. (That’s what unknowing people sometimes say.) “You can have more babies.” They could, of course, and they did. Job did not put his wife away for her unbelieving words, even though he could have as many a man did when his wife displeased him in some way. Seven sons and three daughters were born to them, just as they’d had in the first family. But even with the restoration of their wealth and with the new family, I believe Mrs. Job always felt the loss of the children that were gone.
“How wonderful that God gave you these seven beautiful children after—well, you know, losing the others,” the neighbor women may have said. Yes, it was wonderful, and yes, no doubt they were beautiful. What those well-meaning friends could not see was the awful chasm in Mrs. Job’s heart where the other family had been.
So then, you need never be ashamed of the still-tender places in your life where once there were cruel gashes, just now barely healed. To be sure, God brings wonderful new blessings into our lives after tragedy has taken its toll. Others see the evidence of God’s outpoured love, and they marvel at how especially good He is to you. You don’t need to tell them that your heart still aches. Tell God, and let Him kiss the scars.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Job had it all: huge flocks and herds, a great many servants, a family of seven sons and three daughters. And he was a good man too, truly fearing God. He had no early warning when trouble came. It was just a normal day, but in a matter of minutes, one messenger interrupting another, Job learned that he had lost everything: livestock driven away by raiding bands, servants killed, sheepfolds and flocks burned, all his children crushed in a terrible windstorm. Mrs. Job must have heard her husband’s loud wails as he prayed with his face to the ground, “You gave me all I had, O Lord, and, all of a sudden, You have taken it away. I don’t understand, but still I bless Your name. You do all things well.”
And what about Mrs. Job? Calamity had emptied her life too of everything that was dear to her. Probably, since she would be pretty much like us, she was suffocating with heartache and desperately hoping that what Job believed was true. But the trouble wasn’t over. Job was struck with fever and a terrible, festering disease of the skin. He sat in the ashes of the fire pit, scraping the oozing sores with a piece of broken pottery. Seeing this suffering was intolerable for Mrs. Job.
We know, all these centuries later, why all of this was happening because we have the whole story of Satan’s attempt to make Job forsake his faith in God. But Mrs. Job did not know. There seemed to be no reason at all for this suffering other than a capricious, uncaring God. It is then that she decided her husband would be better off to give up on God and die, and so we have her famous discouraging words. I can imagine that Mrs. Job stormed away, angry with God that He should so afflict an undeserving man, angry at Job that he so patiently submitted to the suffering.
Word spread of the sorry spectacle to be seen at the home of Job in Uz. Several acquaintances came from a distance to see him. At first, they sat quietly with Job, sharing his grief. (A wonderful idea!) But one by one, and with a great many words, they began to criticize and rebuke him. Job defended himself, knowing that he was not deserving of God’s wrath. On and on the arguing went with many accusations and denials, long speeches and equally long rebuttals. In his anguish, Job even had words with God! The final insult thrown at Job was, “Don’t expect that the majestic Creator of all the earth is going to respond to your pitiful whimpering, Job. Your pleas are in vain.”
Just then a furious whirlwind descended on them, and at last God spoke to Job. “Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth?” He asked. He questioned Job thoroughly. “Did you lay the boundaries of the seas? Can you tell where daylight dwells and where is the place of darkness? Who do you think you are?”
“Oh Lord God,” Job answered humbly, “I was wrong to question you, insisting that You had to explain everything to me, that You had to give me reasons for all that has happened in my life. You are God! God! Who did I think I was, calling on you to justify your purposes?”
That wind-tossed night was the turning point in their experience of loss and restoration. Job’s family members gathered around him, and his acquaintances came to visit, bringing words of encouragement and sharing their prosperity. With wise management, Job rebuilt his flocks and herds, and God blessed the latter days more than the beginning, giving Job twice as much as he had before! But it seems that while they lived, God never did give them an explanation for the losses they had suffered, nor could they see why, suddenly, He began answering every prayer. The reasons were not nearly as important as their surrender of the need to have a reason for everything. They waited patiently for the Lord, without knowing.
But the greatest loss was the children. “You are still young,” the other women may have told Mrs. Job. (That’s what unknowing people sometimes say.) “You can have more babies.” They could, of course, and they did. Job did not put his wife away for her unbelieving words, even though he could have as many a man did when his wife displeased him in some way. Seven sons and three daughters were born to them, just as they’d had in the first family. But even with the restoration of their wealth and with the new family, I believe Mrs. Job always felt the loss of the children that were gone.
“How wonderful that God gave you these seven beautiful children after—well, you know, losing the others,” the neighbor women may have said. Yes, it was wonderful, and yes, no doubt they were beautiful. What those well-meaning friends could not see was the awful chasm in Mrs. Job’s heart where the other family had been.
So then, you need never be ashamed of the still-tender places in your life where once there were cruel gashes, just now barely healed. To be sure, God brings wonderful new blessings into our lives after tragedy has taken its toll. Others see the evidence of God’s outpoured love, and they marvel at how especially good He is to you. You don’t need to tell them that your heart still aches. Tell God, and let Him kiss the scars.
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Having Authority
Authority, the dictionary tells me, means several things: for one, the power to enforce obedience. In practical affairs, we often think of it as the right to tell others what to do. Wouldn’t you think that if anyone has that right, it would be those who know the law best? One would suppose that interpreters of the law would have, above all others, the understanding of what is expected of those under them. In Jesus’ day, that would be the scribes and/or the Pharisees. And yet, when Jesus taught, people were amazed, not only at what He said, but how He said it: with real authority.
Twice the Gospel writers tell us what happened. “When Jesus had finished saying these things [what we call The Sermon on the Mount], the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.” (Matthew 7:28, 29 NIV) In the synagogue at Capernaum, “The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law.” (Mark 1:22 NIV)
Those who listened were used to authority, even religious authority. But Jesus spoke with real authority, some versions emphasize, not like the other teachers. What made everyone so amazed at Jesus’ teaching? What’s the difference between real authority and not-real? Jesus did not enforce obedience; he invited obedience by His love and wisdom and hope.
Authority is a bad word to many people, a bad nine-letter word. They have no particular problem with submitting to governmental authority; they pay taxes, they obey traffic laws, they don’t participate in illegal activities. They deal successfully with authority in school or the workplace too. But when confronted with the idea of authority in the home or in the Church, they become confused, afraid, or stubborn. Why is this?
Authority in the places where the heart is drawn in—the home and the Church—where one’s most intimate self is exposed, can be a frightening concept. This is because many misunderstand what authority in these circumstances means. And who is it that most misunderstands? The authority figures themselves. It is perfectly clear to the person—most often a woman or a child in the home but anyone in the Church—who has been wounded by experiences of misuse or abuse what “authority” means. It means to be wary of those who can hurt them again. If the person(s) in authority cannot be trusted to act in one’s best interests, then it makes absolute sense to be watchful, perhaps even fearful of them.
There are indeed some willful women or naughty children and selfish, cranky church members. But far too often, those who say, “My wife won’t submit,” or “My kids better obey or else,” or “That church member is not conforming,” are requiring those who follow them to give up something of their personhood. They are asking that they themselves be lifted up as makers, interpreters, and enforcers of the law—and there is no one more dangerous to others in these situations than the person who presumes to know what is “good” or “right” for everyone and has the power to make them do it.
Jesus drew people, not with fear or threats, but with the force of love. Tax collectors and prostitutes knew He wouldn’t beat them into observing the law. Cowards and big-talkers alike knew there was grace for them. Children knew they would be welcome and they gravitated to Him. The sick and the mentally ill and even a dying thief somehow knew they could ask loving favor from this Man. And this brings us to another definition of authority: the power to influence thought and behavior.
Authority, to a lot of people, is a bad nine-letter word. It can be reduced, though, to a couple of four-letter words: l-o-v-e or f-e-a-r. Only the first carries authority that is real. And that is Jesus’ style.
A note: Do you know who made the statement about “the most dangerous person”? If so, help me give credit.)
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture taken from The New International Bible, used by permission.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
Twice the Gospel writers tell us what happened. “When Jesus had finished saying these things [what we call The Sermon on the Mount], the crowds were amazed at his teaching, because he taught as one who had authority, and not as their teachers of the law.” (Matthew 7:28, 29 NIV) In the synagogue at Capernaum, “The people were amazed at his teaching, because he taught them as one who had authority, not as the teachers of the law.” (Mark 1:22 NIV)
Those who listened were used to authority, even religious authority. But Jesus spoke with real authority, some versions emphasize, not like the other teachers. What made everyone so amazed at Jesus’ teaching? What’s the difference between real authority and not-real? Jesus did not enforce obedience; he invited obedience by His love and wisdom and hope.
Authority is a bad word to many people, a bad nine-letter word. They have no particular problem with submitting to governmental authority; they pay taxes, they obey traffic laws, they don’t participate in illegal activities. They deal successfully with authority in school or the workplace too. But when confronted with the idea of authority in the home or in the Church, they become confused, afraid, or stubborn. Why is this?
Authority in the places where the heart is drawn in—the home and the Church—where one’s most intimate self is exposed, can be a frightening concept. This is because many misunderstand what authority in these circumstances means. And who is it that most misunderstands? The authority figures themselves. It is perfectly clear to the person—most often a woman or a child in the home but anyone in the Church—who has been wounded by experiences of misuse or abuse what “authority” means. It means to be wary of those who can hurt them again. If the person(s) in authority cannot be trusted to act in one’s best interests, then it makes absolute sense to be watchful, perhaps even fearful of them.
There are indeed some willful women or naughty children and selfish, cranky church members. But far too often, those who say, “My wife won’t submit,” or “My kids better obey or else,” or “That church member is not conforming,” are requiring those who follow them to give up something of their personhood. They are asking that they themselves be lifted up as makers, interpreters, and enforcers of the law—and there is no one more dangerous to others in these situations than the person who presumes to know what is “good” or “right” for everyone and has the power to make them do it.
Jesus drew people, not with fear or threats, but with the force of love. Tax collectors and prostitutes knew He wouldn’t beat them into observing the law. Cowards and big-talkers alike knew there was grace for them. Children knew they would be welcome and they gravitated to Him. The sick and the mentally ill and even a dying thief somehow knew they could ask loving favor from this Man. And this brings us to another definition of authority: the power to influence thought and behavior.
Authority, to a lot of people, is a bad nine-letter word. It can be reduced, though, to a couple of four-letter words: l-o-v-e or f-e-a-r. Only the first carries authority that is real. And that is Jesus’ style.
A note: Do you know who made the statement about “the most dangerous person”? If so, help me give credit.)
MaryMartha
(All rights reserved)
Scripture taken from The New International Bible, used by permission.
Email: mrymrtha@gmail.com
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