An acquaintance of mine is a "hover giver." I'll explain. (He doesn't read this blog, and would be disinclined to recognize himself if he did.)
A hover giver
prefers being present when the gift is received. He hovers over the beneficiary, in order to be sure it is appropriately noted that he is the giver. His gratification comes, not in the pleasure of the recipient, but in his own recognition as the one who gave.
A hover giver is offended by not receiving appreciation. This doesn't mean that children should be permitted to ignore the niceties of appropriate thank-you's. But such a giver hovers, waiting for response and extreme in insisting that gifts should be acknowledged in "proper" ways.
A hover giver prefers to specify gifts for projects with obvious results—not food baskets for the needy or school supplies for a storm-ravaged area, but donation to memorials or building projects. He hovers over the situation to be sure the funds are used as indicated, and are adequately appreciated.
A hover giver, however, is not a believer in "It's the thought that counts." It is, instead, the gift that counts. Never mind if it was given with a definite stated purpose. Since giving is, to him, a self-centered action, it is not too surprising to discover that what is given to him is used in his own interest—that is, "best interest" or not.
A hover giver suspects the altruism of others also to be selfish. He asks, "What is he/she getting out of this?" That someone would give freely with a spirit of generosity is nearly incomprehensible to him.
A hover giver
prefers being present when the gift is received. He hovers over the beneficiary, in order to be sure it is appropriately noted that he is the giver. His gratification comes, not in the pleasure of the recipient, but in his own recognition as the one who gave.A hover giver is offended by not receiving appreciation. This doesn't mean that children should be permitted to ignore the niceties of appropriate thank-you's. But such a giver hovers, waiting for response and extreme in insisting that gifts should be acknowledged in "proper" ways.
A hover giver prefers to specify gifts for projects with obvious results—not food baskets for the needy or school supplies for a storm-ravaged area, but donation to memorials or building projects. He hovers over the situation to be sure the funds are used as indicated, and are adequately appreciated.
A hover giver, however, is not a believer in "It's the thought that counts." It is, instead, the gift that counts. Never mind if it was given with a definite stated purpose. Since giving is, to him, a self-centered action, it is not too surprising to discover that what is given to him is used in his own interest—that is, "best interest" or not.
A hover giver suspects the altruism of others also to be selfish. He asks, "What is he/she getting out of this?" That someone would give freely with a spirit of generosity is nearly incomprehensible to him.
. . . Give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space. – Kahil Gibran
Jesus said, "Freely you have received, freely give." (Matthew 10:8)
MaryMartha
Art from http://sxc.hu/
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