My parents brought up six children, all of whom were living in the home at the same time. There had to be some lines drawn about owning stuff.
Community ownership was the rule concerning many things. The pets belonged to everyone—and no one; they were outdoor animals and pretty much fended for themselves. The bicycles belonged to everyone, and so did the old tires and barrel hoops we rolled and the swing that hung from a pipe frame. The playhouse in an old chicken house was no one's exclusively. Unless they had been given to you specifically, the crayons and scissors and flour paste belonged to everyone.
But there was personal ownership too. Each of us had a "cupboard," a fruit crate turned on end, fitted with extra shelves and curtained by our mother. In it were papers, books, toys that belonged specifically to that person, old keys, pretty rocks, and anything else that was treasured by the owner and that would fit between the shelves. When the possessions stuffed into it began to fall out, Mama decreed that "it is time to clean out your cupboard." It was a terrible affront to have someone (that is to say, a sibling) "go into your cupboard" without permission. Another example of a strict ownership rule is this: Candy did not appear in our home very often, but at Christmas there was a plate of fruit, nuts, and candy for each of us (a German tradition). Sorrow was certain to come to any person who failed to honor "mine" and "thine."
Sharing and taking turns were lessons in the schoolroom and in the Sunday School classes. The materials and play equipment there did not belong to any of us but to "the school" or to "the church." We could use them if we shared and if we took turns. (This, we were assured, pleased Jesus.) But at home, I do not remember much about being ordered to share. That was encouraged, of course. "It's good to share," we were taught, but we were not forced to share what was rightfully ours individually.
So did we grow up to be hard-hearted and selfish? No, I don't think so. What we learned back then is that there are boundaries. We do not take things that belong to someone else. We do not enter places where we are not invited or assigned. We do not intrude into affairs that are not our business. We do not assume the right to do what we want at the cost of everyone else's comfort or pleasure; this is particularly true in public placates.. We respect other people and what is theirs. Hopefully, they will respect us and what is ours. Then when we decide to give or share, it is from the heart because we have chosen it.
We learned to respect God and what is His too. The Bible, God's Book, was handled with particular care. The Church, God's house, was a place to walk and not run, to speak quietly and not laugh loudly. The music was lively but appropriate to this special place. The "saints" there, God's people, were held in esteem. We shared our time and money and childish energy not because we had to but because we wanted to. (Well, most of the time, anyway!) As an adult, I now have a clearer sense of everything having its source in God and ultimately belonging to Him. But I am also still guided by the principles of responsibility to myself and others that I first learned as a child.
To think about:
What were you taught about having personal belongings and about sharing? Does that still affect your sense of owning stuff?
MaryMartha
Art from http://www.sxc.hu/
Community ownership was the rule concerning many things. The pets belonged to everyone—and no one; they were outdoor animals and pretty much fended for themselves. The bicycles belonged to everyone, and so did the old tires and barrel hoops we rolled and the swing that hung from a pipe frame. The playhouse in an old chicken house was no one's exclusively. Unless they had been given to you specifically, the crayons and scissors and flour paste belonged to everyone.
But there was personal ownership too. Each of us had a "cupboard," a fruit crate turned on end, fitted with extra shelves and curtained by our mother. In it were papers, books, toys that belonged specifically to that person, old keys, pretty rocks, and anything else that was treasured by the owner and that would fit between the shelves. When the possessions stuffed into it began to fall out, Mama decreed that "it is time to clean out your cupboard." It was a terrible affront to have someone (that is to say, a sibling) "go into your cupboard" without permission. Another example of a strict ownership rule is this: Candy did not appear in our home very often, but at Christmas there was a plate of fruit, nuts, and candy for each of us (a German tradition). Sorrow was certain to come to any person who failed to honor "mine" and "thine."
Sharing and taking turns were lessons in the schoolroom and in the Sunday School classes. The materials and play equipment there did not belong to any of us but to "the school" or to "the church." We could use them if we shared and if we took turns. (This, we were assured, pleased Jesus.) But at home, I do not remember much about being ordered to share. That was encouraged, of course. "It's good to share," we were taught, but we were not forced to share what was rightfully ours individually.
So did we grow up to be hard-hearted and selfish? No, I don't think so. What we learned back then is that there are boundaries. We do not take things that belong to someone else. We do not enter places where we are not invited or assigned. We do not intrude into affairs that are not our business. We do not assume the right to do what we want at the cost of everyone else's comfort or pleasure; this is particularly true in public placates.. We respect other people and what is theirs. Hopefully, they will respect us and what is ours. Then when we decide to give or share, it is from the heart because we have chosen it.
We learned to respect God and what is His too. The Bible, God's Book, was handled with particular care. The Church, God's house, was a place to walk and not run, to speak quietly and not laugh loudly. The music was lively but appropriate to this special place. The "saints" there, God's people, were held in esteem. We shared our time and money and childish energy not because we had to but because we wanted to. (Well, most of the time, anyway!) As an adult, I now have a clearer sense of everything having its source in God and ultimately belonging to Him. But I am also still guided by the principles of responsibility to myself and others that I first learned as a child.
To think about:
What were you taught about having personal belongings and about sharing? Does that still affect your sense of owning stuff?
MaryMartha
Art from http://www.sxc.hu/
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